Categories
Dangerous Compassions

anger

Oh hey, I was filled with anger.  Ming came home from the Las Vegas Catholic Worker soup line serving this morning and told me the cops are shutting it down.  I feel really upset that the government wins. Homeless people are people.  The government exists for them!  How is feeding hungry people a crime? Well,… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

loquat

“Has your loquat tree fruited yet?” I asked my friend.  These friends here in Tucson, I’ve always loved their garden. “No,” she said.  “Do you want to talk to it?” “Yeah,” I said.  Usually people don’t invite me to talk to their trees.  We went over to the loquat tree, and I touched a branch. … Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

bread

“If I ever feel like life isn’t worth living, please feed me some of this bread,” I told Ming.  It was cheese garlic naan from Gandhi’s in Tucson.  Wow, amazing.  Better bread than I could have dreamed. Ming was turning left, driving us back to our airbnb.  “I guess it’s the bread of life.  Maybe… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

suicidal

It was an intense couple of days.  I got suicidal, the day before Mother’s Day.  That happened last year too.  I knew not being able to call and send a card, or visit my mom for Mother’s Day, would destroy me.  It’s not like I was even thinking of her a lot–more that my body… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

fast blood

Hey, I was ecstatic dancing outside to my youtube dance playlist.  I was wearing no shirt–I wore a sports bra.  It’s ok to exercise, wearing a sports bra, so I hear.  But I never did it before.  I walked outside in a skirt and bra, which I had never done before.  Felt vulnerable and slightly… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

the five things I need

Being able to have difficult conversations is something I need, in any close relationship.  I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, the five things I need, non-negotiable. the five things I need mutual respect Respect is like love, but less sparkly.  I need to be seen as pretty much equal to anyone I’m going to… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

chi

I took a chi gong class on Saturday.  The night before, a bodyworker friend invited me over txt, and I had the time.  So I learned chi gong from my friend’s teacher, and it was emotional. I guess the most important part was toward the end when I was crying, an emotional release pertaining to… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

how I handle big feelings

A new friend asked how I handle big feelings.  Great question.  I will answer as honestly as I can. how I handle big feelings I talk to Ming about how I feel, emote to him, ask for feedback, explain intense situations related to the feelings.  Sometimes I ask him if he sees something I don’t… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

the journey of a thousand miles begins with a packing list

Hey, how have you been?  I’ve gone through a weird-ass journey lately without leaving my house.  I’ve felt so many feelings–I could win the feeling olympics.  I’d be on the top step, gold medal Laura-Marie, crying, deeply solid in my grief and joy. I put up some new art.  Feels good to invite it into… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

roses

I always see roses as about my mom.  Their beautiful struggle.  Especially red ones, as that was her favorite color, when I was young.  These roses are simple like wild ones, not the multiple layers of petals, but small and one layer. I was lying in bed on my way to sleep, writing a txt… Read More »