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Dangerous Compassions

almond butter

“Hey, lover.  I need to tell you something,” I said to Ming, thinking about almond butter.  “There’s something I told you before, but now it changed, so it’s no longer true.  You wanna hear what I’m talking about?” “Sure,” he said.  We were out in the driveway, and it was dusky out.  I wanted to… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

trip out

Hello–we’re on a road trip.  This trip out to the coast is a big deal.  Emotionally, I’ve been needing it for a long time.  Can I show you a few California pictures? Here’s Ming with a drug shake in Barstow.  He’s done a great job driving.  No car issues or surprising health issues so far.… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

be gay do picnics

Be gay do picnics is my conclusion about this video, which I love.  By the end I was in tears, moved by the mom moral.  Lately I’m trying to see art that makes me laugh–I need more ways to relax.  Laughter is a remedy to stress response.  I need it for my health. I wanted… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how I learned to do less

Last year I knew I needed to cut back on my responsibilities and activities, but I didn’t know how.  Everything I did felt crucially important.  But I needed to give more energy to myself, work on my health, and lower my stress.  It could be a matter of life and death.  I want to tell… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

panicking

Last night I was panicking, and it was a hard night.  I went through a whole experience.  There was restless overwhelm, then a classic panic attack, and a ton of recovery until I could sleep. Ming helped me in all of that.  He asked me some cool questions, and I got distracted answering them.  He… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

praying to my stomach

I’m having some health issues I’m not really talking about.  Remember when I had that ulcer bleed that put me in the hospital?  I learned a lot there.  Well, the current issues are stomach-related.  So praying to my stomach is a thing, lately. When something almost kills you, makes sense to develop anxiety around that. … Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

disperse the energy

Lately I’m enjoying sending to a few friends the art that I had on my ofrenda, for Day of the Dead.  Feels like a great way to disperse the energy.  And I hope the friends enjoy the art.  I don’t need to keep that powerful, potent stuff around.  Glad to spread joy to the world.… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what I struggle with

My good friend up in Canada told me she enjoys witnessing how I love myself unconditionally.  She likes how I accept myself where I’m at, in so many ways.  “I’m sure there must be some things you struggle with.  But I love how you accept yourself,” she said.  The topic of what I struggle with felt… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

personal retreat

I planned a personal retreat, to visit nature every day, pray, sing a lot, and avoid social media.  I needed to really bad.  My stress level was too high, and I needed a deep rest.  I looked forward to my retreat like a dog to a bone! My personal retreat didn’t go as planned, but… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

panic attack

Yesterday I had maybe the gnarliest panic attack I’ve ever had.  Wow, it was an altered state.  So powerful, like–I don’t need to use drugs, ever.  I went to another dimension: terror world.  I lost part of myself. Thought I was dying. Afterward, I was amazed that I survived. I’ve had a panic attack now… Read More »