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Dangerous Compassions

consensus

Hello, how are you doing?  I attended a workshop about consensus.  It was put on by the intentional community Snake Village and gave me delicious food for thought.  Still digesting it. what it is Consensus is a decision making style that anarchists such as myself are supposed to do or at least have a good… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

inland

“Hey, dear,” I asked Ming.  “When you look at a table like this, and all the things on the table, do you see it like…the edge of the table is the edge of a continent?  And then you might move the things away from the table edge, and consider that moving them inland?” The idea… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

why I say thank you

Hello–how are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about why I say thank you often.  I’m a gratitude lady.  It’s not a sense of obligation.  It’s because I feel gratitude in my body.  My body thrums with a thank you feeling.  I gotta let it out. Sometimes I’ve said to a friend, “Thank you for being… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

comrades

Oh hey, how are you doing?  I heard this song by Bambu called Comrades, and I felt so touched and nostalgic.  You should hear it! I knew a man long ago who said we were comrades.  My heart broke.  Wow–I thought we had a close personal connection.  I really wanted to be his friend. He… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

content warnings

Hello, how are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about content warnings as a way to help people navigate conversations and social connections. helpful Do you like content warnings?  I find them very helpful.  They help me know what I should / should not engage.  They seem respectful.  They’ve given me a useful heads up, about… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

dear man

Hello–how are you?  My friend and I were talking about DBT, and they reminded me how DBT has some cool acronyms.  They like DEAR MAN.  Yes, me too! Here is a nice handout describing it. https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php dialectical behavioral therapy Have you done DBT?  Some people do it in the hospital.  I did it outpatient for… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

skills

I’ve been working on a list of skills, mine and Ming’s.  And the traits we share to make positive change.  What do you think? Ming’s skills permaculture design garden / plant care, composting, sheet mulch  animal care: chickens, goats, bees  selling at Farmers Markets and craft fairs tracking and data entry Registered Nursing: hospital, hospice,… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

language

  “Hear what I mean, not what I say,” is something Ming has been telling me for our entire relationship.  We’d have a disagreement, with lots of language flying and emotions in the air, and I would get confused, listening carefully to his words. “What do you mean, listen to what you mean?  How do… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

emotional breakdown

“Why are you sad?” Ming asked.  We were pulled over by this off-roading area where people ride dirt bikes and dune buggies.  But they were far away and not too loud.  It was a good place to have an emotional breakdown. “I don’t know–am I sad?” I asked.  I was crying with my whole body,… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

vulnerable is

Hey, I’ve been thinking about what vulnerable is.  Maybe I use the word differently than other people.  Ming asked me what I meant by vulnerable, during a conversation we were having about sex and feelings, and recently someone else asked me the same. Vulnerable is my whole life’s goal.   It’s part of honesty, intimacy, and… Read More »