Categories
Dangerous Compassions

how to pull away

Hello, reader–how are you doing?  Do you know how to pull away in relationship?  It’s a skill. Especially in love, I tend to be all or nothing.  Moderation is not my gift.  So as an adult, I’m learning how to pull away when I get too close, give too much, and commit in ways that… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

gaze upon me

“Gaze upon me,” I said to Ming. Ming was still in bed, woken up but on their phone.  They looked up at me. “Like me,” I said. “I like you,” Ming said. I was making breakfast–Ming had already taken their first drugs of the day. breakfast “Do you want sweet or savory breakfast?” I’d asked.… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

how to plan

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  Recently I sat down with Ming at an Indian food restaurant in Junction City, and we talked about how to plan. I’m a big time planner–might be a Virgo thing?  Oh no, it’s probably my flavor of autism.  I can see a long way down the chain of cause… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

relationship attempts

Hello, reader.  How you doing?  I’m tempted to say good morning because morning is my favorite time.  The world seems so alive in the quiet pre-dawn.  Anything is possible.  I wrote this post for you called relationship attempts. False spring bloomed, and now it’s back to full-time Oregon rain. relationship attempts Last night I remembered… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

how needs work in relationships

Hello, reader.  How’re you doing?  I’m thinking about how needs work in relationships.  Over the decades I’ve been close to many people. partners best friends beloved penpals close friends chosen family Often I get closer and closer to someone until we hit our big issue.  Sometimes we can recover from that, and sometimes we never do.… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

polyamory

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  Are you a monogamous person?  I see content on a social media website about polyamory.  People tell their dramatic relationship story for feedback.  It can stimulate a lot of thought, to ponder what I would do and read the comments. Usually I’m silent, but this morning I read someone’s… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

marriage is a privilege

Hey, reader.  How are you doing?  I was reading about the various privileges like whiteness, ability, citizenship, cis-ness, religion.  It surprises me when I see listed that marriage is a privilege. “Whoever said marriage is a privilege wasn’t married to you!” I said to Ming.  Then we laughed and laughed and laughed.  We fell over… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

what a friend is

Hello, reader.  How you doing?  I’ve been thinking about what a friend is. What distinguishes a friend from a partner?  Are the classifications even important? I’m wondering because I struggle with relationship: closeness and commitment, balance, whether my needs are ok.  Often I crave best friend relationships with more intimacy than usual friendship, which can… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

cute

“Hey honey, how did you get so cute?” I asked Ming. “Robbed a cutebank,” Ming said. “Oh! Should I rob a cutebank too?” I asked. “You already did,” he said. blues Haha! Good answer! We are super cute, but I am cooped up, so no one can see that but Ming.  My cuteness is under… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

I hate how white people love

I hate how white people love.  It’s so transactional and cautious.  White people love with an eye dropper.  There is your portion.  We would not want to spoil you with too much.   I hate how white people love the way they spice foods.  A flavor is too big a commitment.  Spices are dangerous because surprise… Read More »