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Dangerous Compassions

how we talk about love and desire

Hello, reader.  How you doing?  A friend used the word infatuation to describe a feeling I had, or an experience–when a crush develops, and sexual desire charges a friendship.  I don’t like the word infatuation because it feels demeaning.  I’ve been thinking about how we talk about love and desire. what is love Love is… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what we call each other

Hey, reader.  How are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about what we call each other.  Wow–I’ve been thinking about that for a long time. mama You know my mom called me Marie.  It was the only thing it made sense for her to call me, real name wise.  If she called me Laura, I was… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

jealousy

“What about jealousy?” I asked.  “Does your partner do it with other people?  How is that for you?” My good friend and I were at a park in Portland, visiting after some weeks apart.  I felt curious about how their close nesting relationship is going. “I don’t have much jealousy–it’s more FOMO,” my friend answered. … Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

reasons to attend shabbat

Hello, reader.  How are you?  Do you have reasons to attend Shabbat?  Ming and I attended Shabbat service with our friend at the local Judaism reformationist temple. Then we were considering whether to attend again this week.  I was tired, so drained, and I didn’t want to go.  Ming considered going without me. I was… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

poor choices

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  Happy October.  How much do you enjoy your life?  Years ago, I used to think my life was crap, and I was crap.  I had an attitude like “I have nothing to lose.”  So I would make poor choices, including staying in relationship with abusive people.  But now I… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

support words

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  I hope you’re happy and well and free from suffering.  If you are not happy, well, and free from suffering, I hope you have tons of support.  I’m thinking about support words. What words do you like to give others?  What do you like to hear, when you need… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

basic needs for close relationship

  Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about my basic needs for close relationship. Ming and I have lived in Kalapuya land for almost a year now.  I’m getting to know this biome and this town, and we’re forming alliances.  I need to be close to people who treat me in ways… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

activist relationships

Hello, reader.  How are you?  Are you curious about activist relationships?  I define activist as anyone who has a vision for a better world and works toward it. ask Ming “How would you define activist?” I asked Ming. “Motivated by a cause,” said Ming.  “Someone who takes action, for a cause?  I dunno–seems like there… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how to help someone not feel trapped

Hello, reader.  How’s it going?  I’ve been thinking about relationship a lot lately, and how to help someone not feel trapped. Trapped is one of the creepiest feelings.  When I was a kid, I lived trapped in my family of origin.  Then I was trapped in my first marriage in such a bad way. Feeling… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

default to love

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I was thinking about relationship styles, love as a skill we can strengthen, how I default to love, and what stresses me out about people.  What stresses you out about people? Little of what comes naturally to me is within the range of normal friendship.  I was talking to my… Read More »