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Dangerous Compassions

hearing voices

My curious friend asked about my voices.  He wants to know what they sound like, are they nice or mean, genders, languages.  I searched my own blog for hearing voices and came up with some cool posts, but nothing giving a real overview. I’m crazy and disabled, love and accept myself unconditionally, and have a… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how to be happy

A friend told me I’m positive.  I told him that I cultivate it.  Positivity is part of how to be happy.  I wasn’t born cheerfully looking on the bright side.  My mom could be forced-positive, but my dad was cranky and bitingly negative much of the time. I endured harm as a child and teenager. … Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

tassels

“Hey, did you know I hate tassels?” I asked Ming. “Yeah,” he said. “Do you hate tassels too?” I asked. “Not as much as you do,” he said. “You know what’s the thing about tassels?” I asked. “They’re just hanging around?” he asked.  He was in the kitchen, filling up two of his water bottles… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how my autism is going

I wanted to give you an update on how my autism is going.  This is my autism fruit salad.  Delicious fruits on a paper plate! Since I first posted about my autism, I’ve learned a lot.  It’s funny how people can find an idea that serves as a lens, to examine stuff through.  Old stuff,… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

loss

loss I lost the friendship of one of my closest friends.  The loss shakes my life.  He’s the friend I talked to the most, besides Ming.  We txted a few times a day, and pics to each other.  We had a weekly phone call, shared projects, co-worked sometimes.  I told him everything–there’s almost nothing I… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

sentences of heartache

I want a wider range of behaviors and needs to be ok.  I need respect for differences. For so long, I’ve policed my own self for the comfort of others, which I learned before age 2, I’m guessing.  I needed to keep the people around me liking me, so I could keep getting my needs… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

vegetables

I finally understand vegetables.  I was a vegetarian for decades.  But I was a mac and cheese vegetarian.  I’d have been happy to live on mac and cheese!  Maybe a sandwich, lasagna, enchiladas, and rice from time to time! Vegetables were difficult for me!  Intense flavors, intense textures, a lot of variety and needing knowledge… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

shit pic

“I gotta send that shit pic to you,” Ming said. “Oh, good.  Thank you.  Yeah, I need that shit.  That shit is going to be useful to me.” We were walking around a pond, and I asked him to photograph a pile of horse shit for me.  I thought I could use it to make… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

hugging a tractor

I painted these backgrounds and realized the kid-me would have been thrilled by the colors.  Lavender was my favorite color, when I was a kid, and pink with white. I was thinking how sometimes when a trans woman starts living as a woman, who had lived as a man, her way of dress and makeup… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

my stims

I do this chuckle that’s a stim–a common one, of all my stims.  It’s a funny rhythmic chuckle, brief and not too loud. Also I make a sound sometimes like “hoey who hee who.”  It means nothing. I remember when my mom would make a sound related to “hoey.”  She seemed to make it like… Read More »