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Dangerous Compassions

what small talk is for

Hey, reader.  How’s it going.  Do you like small talk?  It has a bad reputation, especially among the neurodivergent.  But I’m a freak among weirdos–I kind of like it.  I enjoy subverting it.  I’ve been thinking about what small talk is for. what small talk is for A good friend went on a silent Carmelite… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

fashion

Hello, reader.  How’s life?  A good friend-housemate asked me about fashion.  He’s learning more how to sew.  He makes beautiful embroidery and quilts.  But now he wants to make clothes too. Oh, but what about gender?  He is a he/they trans enby person.  He doesn’t wanna wear a dress these days.  But maybe he wants… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

open letter to YouTube

This open letter to YouTube is asking for justice for poor and disabled people who have different sensory needs because of autism. Dear YouTube: Thank you for gathering so much music into one place.  I’ve used your website for many years, steadfast as friends went to spotify–even before then, as friends used Pandora.  I like… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how to be inclusive of body types and abilities

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  My friend is becoming a certified fitness instructor.  They asked me how to be inclusive of body types and abilities. Yes, fitness can push me out.  I do Ample Movement yoga these days, which is respectful and healing.  And I’ve had other good yoga experiences over the past 30… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

the difference between a service top and a service sub

I’ve been thinking about the difference between a service top and a service sub.  I thought they were kind of opposite–now I think they’re kind of the same, just with a different attitude. Yes, in some ways, I’m a service sub.  I want to help, be petted, and be told I’m a good pumpkin.  I… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

nipple check

“Is this clothes ok?” I asked Ming.  Yes, my syntax can be idiosyncratic.  It was a nipple check. He looked at me.  He was standing in the doorway of our bedroom, getting dressed himself. “Yeah, looks great,” he said. “Can you see my nipples?” I asked.  The shirt is sheer.  I might have worn it… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

making friends

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  When I’m at a gathering over zoom or in person, I often hear adults mention how it’s so hard to make friends as an adult.  Making friends is thought of as easy for kids. But I can’t relate to that.  I was a quiet, different kid with autism who… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what romantic means

Hello, reader.  How are you?  Do you know what romantic means?  I used to think it meant going to a fancy restaurant for dinner with candlelight, red roses, and getting married in a big puffy white dress.  It involved money, See’s Candy, and a tone related to New Relationship Energy.  None of that is for… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

kilt

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I wanted to tell you something that matters to me.  I got a kilt. Wow, I’ve wanted a kilt for decades.  How did that take so long?  I’m happy because it was rather easy.  I used a custom kilt company.  My credit union blocked the transaction because the billing is… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

boundaries as love

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about the part of love that’s giving people space–I’ve been thinking about boundaries as love.  This idea is very important to me. You know how music is made of sounds, but there can be silence between bits of sound?  The rests are so delicious.  Or an… Read More »