Categories
Dangerous Compassions

virtue signaling

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I’m on a trip, not blogging much because my computer is half-broken.  Soon new tech will arrive.  Ming and I were talking about virtue signaling. Are you familiar with the concept?  Virtue signalling is when you do or say things to make sure everyone knows you’re good.  It can be… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

friendship stress

Hello, reader.  How are you doing today?  I’m thinking about friendship stress after a valuable conversation I had with a housemate friend. how friendship feels How do you feel in friendship?  Are your connections feeling supportive helpful real trustworthy safe enough Do you have what you need with other people?  Are other people even worth… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

shame

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I’ve been thinking about shame.  What is shame, and why do we feel it?  Is it ever helpful? I see people feeling shame who don’t need it.  The shame drains their energy like a hole in a bucket.  Then the people who do great wrongs are not feeling shame.  Hmm–why… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

regulating vs healing

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I’ve been thinking about regulating vs healing.  Do you make a distinction? Is “regulating” part of your vocabulary?  Maybe regulating is a therapy word or seems clinical.  It makes the think of machines.  I’m not a machine.  But sometimes I see myself as a system that can get out of… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

sir

Hello, reader.  How are you today?  This is how I look inside when anyone calls Ming “sir.” We were at a Thai place we visit often.  It’s next to the flower shop.  The worker gave Ming the check and called him “sir.”  It was yuck. Ming is not a man.  Ming should wear his “he… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

liberation isn’t linear

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I’ve heard how healing isn’t linear.  But I was thinking how liberation isn’t linear either. It came up because I was in the kitchen with Ming, and he was wearing his glasses when his glasses were not helpful to him.  His glasses don’t help him, for seeing up close. “Can… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

confusing people helps

Hello–how are you doing?  I was thinking about a question my housemate-friend asked during the disability justice / fat liberation skillshare that I led for my community.  I realized that confusing people helps. truck dudes It was the part about dudes yelling stuff at me from their trucks.  I’m happily minding my own business, riding… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

favorite aftercare

Hello–how are you doing?  This is about my favorite aftercare.  I went to the dentist, which is traumatic at the best of times.  I’d cracked a tooth. How in the hell did I crack a tooth?  I blame pistachios.  Lately pistachios were my favorite food.  Yes, they are delicious. But hmm, you’re not supposed to… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

cycle breaker

Hello, how are you doing?  I was thinking of myself as a cycle breaker, while I was doing some writing the other day.  My writing was an internal family memo that I might turn into something later.  One of countless random googledocs that could become a zine or course or megapost. Or something I could… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

trust is exhausting

Hello, how have you been?  Lately Ming and I are getting used to our new home here in community in Oregon.  Wow, it’s a lot of work!  Trust is exhausting. weather Ming and I were taking a walk.  There were wet leaves on the ground.  I enjoyed moving through space in the cold.  I asked… Read More »