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Dangerous Compassions

how we talk about love and desire

Hello, reader.  How you doing?  A friend used the word infatuation to describe a feeling I had, or an experience–when a crush develops, and sexual desire charges a friendship.  I don’t like the word infatuation because it feels demeaning.  I’ve been thinking about how we talk about love and desire. what is love Love is… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what small talk is for

Hey, reader.  How’s it going.  Do you like small talk?  It has a bad reputation, especially among the neurodivergent.  But I’m a freak among weirdos–I kind of like it.  I enjoy subverting it.  I’ve been thinking about what small talk is for. what small talk is for A good friend went on a silent Carmelite… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

RIP toxic masculinity

“When is masculinity not toxic?” Ming asked.  He’d just read a fake headstone that says RIP toxic masculinity. Good question, dear.  We were taking a rain walk yesterday morning, passing by our house’s main garden.  Housemates made pretend headstones, some years back? One says RIP hatred.  One says RIP toxic masculinity.  I think another says… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

fashion

Hello, reader.  How’s life?  A good friend-housemate asked me about fashion.  He’s learning more how to sew.  He makes beautiful embroidery and quilts.  But now he wants to make clothes too. Oh, but what about gender?  He is a he/they trans enby person.  He doesn’t wanna wear a dress these days.  But maybe he wants… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

reasons to attend shabbat

Hello, reader.  How are you?  Do you have reasons to attend Shabbat?  Ming and I attended Shabbat service with our friend at the local Judaism reformationist temple. Then we were considering whether to attend again this week.  I was tired, so drained, and I didn’t want to go.  Ming considered going without me. I was… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

activist relationships

Hello, reader.  How are you?  Are you curious about activist relationships?  I define activist as anyone who has a vision for a better world and works toward it. ask Ming “How would you define activist?” I asked Ming. “Motivated by a cause,” said Ming.  “Someone who takes action, for a cause?  I dunno–seems like there… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how to initiate touch

Gmorning, reader.  How are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about how to initiate touch. Touch is a big deal.  We’re mammals– touch is central to our socializing.  Can I give you a hug? get weird But people get weird about touch because of sex, feelings, boundaries, poor communication about intentions.  Then it can feel complicated… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

simple

“I remember when I was a kid, my mom and I were out, and I asked about someone who seemed different.  Something like, ‘Why is that lady acting like that?’  I remember my mom told me that lady was just simple.” I said that to Ming.  We were somewhere in Oregon, on a forested drive… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

sharing my prayer

Hello, reader.  How’ve you been?  Thank you for sharing my prayer, this morning. Dear Mother God, Thank you for all of our copious blessings, copious like bleeding.  Thank you for the gift of life, and miraculous days to live in.  We love this wild world, with its forest shadows, river movement, lemon bars, wacky conversations… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

untrustworthy avoidant dudes who kick me

Hello, reader.  How are you doing today?  I was thinking how I get attached to untrustworthy avoidant dudes who kick me.  Some harder than others.  It has to do with power. There are many ways to conceptualize this problem.  How I tell the story to myself and frame the harm, influences what I do to… Read More »