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Dangerous Compassions

find treasure

I remembered two dreams I had long ago that might point me toward my true desire. In one dream, I lived in an intentional community of artists.  Maybe we were all writers?  There was a lot of dark wood, green plants, picnic tables, places to hang out in the common areas.  Different levels–it was a […]

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Dangerous Compassions

what I most want

How do you decide what you most want?  I have old dreams, but I would like to know what’s real now. Others tell me I should publish a book.  But I really like zines.  I think they suit me better, DIY and smaller scale.  I have a successful poet friend who publishes books, and he […]

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Dangerous Compassions

tea need

I need some tea, stat!  I’m tired of being sick!  Ming is helping H do some photocopies.  It’s someone’s birthday today.  But I think I will skip it.  I was blowing my nose on a napkin that smells like pepper and coughing like I’d choke. “I’ll see you guys over there,” H said as he […]

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Dangerous Compassions

the world is too big for you to understand

Yesterday we talked about family for a while as we traveled.  It was intense.  I said how some of the men in my family were more like cartoon characters than fully-developed people.  We talked about what goes on that can’t be seen.  I love those oak trees we pass, leaving the coast, the valleys and […]

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Dangerous Compassions

traveling home

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Dangerous Compassions

inbox cleaning, Santa Barbara, nice lady

I’ve been cleaning out my inbox.  I used to keep it spartan.  Then it filled up with emails I hadn’t dealt with.  A certain friend emailed me a ton, and I emailed him back a ton but slightly less.  I had all these emails from him with unanswered questions from the previous year.  So I […]

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Dangerous Compassions

cucuy

Mom is drawing on her eyebrows again.  “My sister always walks me out to the car.  And I told her, Don’t walk me out to the car!  What if there’s a cucuy out there or something? “She said, I have to walk you out to your car.  What if there’s a cucuy out there or […]

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Dangerous Compassions

disability

“People are shrinking and squeezing themselves into what counts as able-bodied under capitalism, and I think most people are doing the same thing with gender. Most people are gender non-conforming and we are squeezing ourselves into these categories to keep ourselves safe.”–Mia Mingus, my new hero https://www.them.us/story/ugliness-disability-mia-mingus?utm_sq=fwviery2tr&fbclid=IwAR22FTfwiRDhFno4i_YVDWZgF2gcofMjOcWjM6l2qZ4FEGdGNXhidRYNmh0

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Dangerous Compassions

other people’s kids

Once I had a good friend–I talked to her almost every day.  We chatted on gmail chat for hours.  She got up really late.  So we’d start talking in the afternoons. Her spouse was a psych nurse, and they had two kids who were homeschooled.  And lots of animals. Once they were visiting Sacramento, when […]

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Dangerous Compassions

thankful for rain

Yesterday I failed to blog.  I was so sick it scared me.  I coughed like crazy and felt my throat was getting more and more swollen, constricted.  We went to the health food store and bought cough drops.  Tried to nap and woke myself up coughing every minute.  Almost sent Ming back to the store […]