how to help me

Hello, reader.  How’ve you been?  I’m going through intense emotions and transformation.  I need downtime and rest; being around people is even harder than usual.  My homegirl said, “Let me know how I can help.”  So I’ve been thinking about how to help me.

ideas list

1. Bring me flowers, mint from your garden, rosemary, or other herbs that I can put on my altar or in my cooking.  This is a low-stress gift since I’ll use it and don’t need to keep it forever.  Sometimes I get stressed by gifts I’m supposed to keep that take up a lot of space.
2. Give me comforting words: tell me you like me, you’re proud of me, you believe in me, you see me working hard.  Even better, you can tell me something specific that you like about what I did, like feedback on my art or writing.  Specific compliments help me feel seen and known.
3. Supporting Ming is a way to support me.  The stronger Ming is, the more energy he has to do his part in our family and be patient with me as I feel big feelings.  Go for a walk with Ming, talk to him about what’s real, help him eat delicious foods, ask him about his health, and ask him what he could use help with–like organizing physical possessions or cleaning out the car….
4. Give me food.  You can cook for me, if you know my food needs, or get something dairy free, gluten free, corn free, mushroom free, and cooked tomato free from a restaurant.  Medium or low spice.  Vegetarian, with no bamboo or celery or water chestnuts or bean sprouts.  Good luck with that!  Most fruits are good, but fresh pineapple burns my mouth.
5. Contribute to my projects, like give me money toward photocopying zines, art supplies, web hosting.  Or share my posts and comment on things to improve my SEO.  Then more people can see my work, and my destiny will be fulfilled.
6. Help me socialize in ways that are lower stress for me.  Sometimes I like low-language socializing like doing a craft together, cooking together, hand massage, resting together.  Please turn off the ringer on your phone and take me somewhere quiet.  Please make sure I feel connected to you by telling me at the beginning that I matter to you.

how to help me

Helping others is a great way to help yourself.  A lot of times when someone’s depressed or anxious, they think they don’t have enough energy to help others.  But helping others is so meaningful; it has great rewards.

When I’m really down, I prefer to continue cooking Food Not Bombs, helping with the Las Vegas Radical Mental Health Collective, and being there for the people I love.  I get a hit from helpfulness.

Please consider cultivating that too.  I love knowing that I have a place in this world and someone benefited from my existence.