spiky skills profile

“Do you know what a spiky skills profile is?” I asked Ming.

We were in the kitchen in the early morning.  He was helping hold a cauliflower as I meticulously broke off large florets, rinsed them in the sink, cut off the yuckie parts, re-rinsed the florets, and tossed them into a pyrex.

“No,” Ming said.

I was already roasting potatoes, so I thought I would attack some old fridge veg as well.  Yes, back in the day, I got four cauliflowers from a food giveaway.

“Is this the last cauliflower?” I asked Ming.

“I hope so,” he said.

“Yeah!  God, I hope so,” I said.

spiky skills profile

“Spiky skills profile is like how you tried to explain your learning disability to me a long time ago,” I said to Ming.  “Where you’re really good at some things, and really horrible at some things.  There’s not an overall trend.”

“Oh, ok,” Ming said.

“So some people think you’re a genius, and some people think you’re worthless,” I continued.  “People have a hard time getting a read of you. They can have a hard time understanding you, with vastly incorrect expectations.”

“Yes,” Ming said.

“And it’s hard to manage other people’s incorrect expectations,” I said.  “Especially if managing other people’s incorrect expectations isn’t one of the things you have strong skills in.”

Ming set the cauliflower on the counter.

“Do you need a rest?” I asked.

I had already worked hard, doing surgery on old giveaway potatoes.  The potatoes, onion, and green bell pepper were already roasting in the oven.

writing

“I articulated that well,” I said.  “I have a spiky skill of language.  And that’s… about it!”

I made a grief-moaning sound of emotional pain.  But I don’t think that’s true.  I’m good at many things!  I have skills.

• love
• paying attention and noticing things
• touch
• being curious
• cooking veg food
• feeling my emotions
• feeling my bodily sensations
• community
• plants
• bravery
• dance
• holding and sharing information
• synthesis — connecting dots, merging ideas, conflating shit
• analysis — breaking things into parts
• seeing big picture and small bits at the same time
• brainstorming
• radical mental health facilitation
• memory, tracking things
• singing
• art

fuck shame

Wow, that’s lots of things, right?  I’m not only good at language.  Don’t believe the hype!

Maybe I’m good at interviewing people.  I like people, and I’m full of questions, especially when I know I’m free to ask them.  In regular life, I’m trying not to overwhelm anyone.

It’s fun to learn about others’ special interests.  So it makes sense, I’m good at interviewing–I have a knack for meeting others where they’re at.  Some call this “people pleasing” and talk like it’s a bad thing.  I call it Advanced Social Survival Skills for Autistics.  And I won’t feel shame about it for anything.

In fact, fuck shame.  I’m not going to let some fly by night goofus vs gallant instagram posts shame me into signing up for expensive workshops where I gush in a zoom room to entitled strangers in other lands, thinking that heals my trauma, when it just distracts me by helping me make friends with far away weirdos.

I might attend a free class, which is usually a teaser / long commercial for the pay course.  I can pick up a few tasty ideas, then run behind the shed to savor them by myself.

thank you

Thank you to my favorite autistic instagrammer neurodivergent_lou for teaching me the phrase “spiky skills profile.”  You have brought so much good to my life, and I appreciate you.

questions for discussion

What are your main skills?

Do you have deep deficits?

Do you find that people have an accurate read of their own skills and deficits?

How self-aware are you?

Which of your skills do you work to increase, and why was that your choice?

What situation, person, system, force, or experience has most increased your skills?

What or who has most depleted you?

If you could give someone in your life the gift of a skill, what would it be?

Who would you most like to interview?