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Dangerous Compassions

what sleepy means

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  You know my darling Ming has narcolepsy, a sleep disorder.  Everyone has been sleepy, but only some people have narcolepsy.  I’m always thinking about being disabled in community, and how disabled people are understood and misunderstood, in our homes and out in the world.  I want to help make… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what really happened on our trip

Hello, reader.  How are you?  Ming and I were house sitting recently for ten days at the coast.  Friends have asked, “How was it?”  This is what really happened on our trip. what really happened on our trip I slept eight hours almost every night of our trip.  Being just me and Ming, my ambient… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what I imagine when I’m trying to sleep

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I want to tell you what I imagine when I’m trying to sleep. I have insomnia sometimes.  Ok–a lot!  Both my parents had it; I’m trying to accept this problem might be with me for a while.  Insomnia is part of life for many people. There’s adversity, and what we… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

chakras

“Is it ok with you, if your chakras are cleansed while we’re sleeping?” I asked Ming.  Yes, I’m into consent. We were going to bed.  Sometimes I like a white noise video like rainstorm, ocean waves, or singing bowls sound bath.  That way we have a better chance of not waking the other up, as… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

anxiety and pain

Hello, reader.  How are you?  Anxiety and pain are a bad combination, especially for insomnia.  Lately my anxiety is high, and my pain is high.  So I’m working hard to sleep. A housemate will ask me in the kitchen how I am, and I’ll often enthusiastically say, “I slept great last night!”  It’s such an… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

falling asleep

Hello, how are you doing?  I was thinking about what goes through my head when I’m falling asleep lately.  It’s changed.  For a while it was Rainbow Goddess.  Perhaps you know her. She lives on a mountain by herself, like a fire lookout, but she wouldn’t tell anyone about the fire.  She would let it… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how to make yourself go to sleep

Hello, how are you doing?  I have experience with insomnia, hypomania and mania, chronic pain, sedation on a bipolar cocktail, obstructive sleep apnea, and self-harm in the form of old, lumpy pillows.  This post is about how to make yourself go to sleep when you don’t want to.  It’s also about who has worth. how… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

hydrangea

“Those are hydrangea,” I told Ming as we drove by a lot with a grassy yard and big hydrangea bush by the house.  “God, what an ugly name!  Sounds like a disease.” “Yeah,” Ming said. “I have hydrangea–I have six weeks to live!” I said.  “I need to be watered.  Don’t send flowers.” These hydrangea… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

how I talk to myself in my head

Hello, how are you doing?  I would like to tell you how I talk to myself in my head.  When I’m suffering and losing hope, when I’m in need of comfort, and when I’m going to sleep, this is how I talk to myself in my head. Is sleeping really hard for you?  It’s one… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what I’ve learned from this travel

Hello, how are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned from this travel.  Normally in regular life I learn a lot, but it’s quiet home things.  This learning from a time of not having a home is more intense and quick. I can’t control the pace–life is just coming at me, and I… Read More »