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Dangerous Compassions

the difference between support and enabling

“What’s the difference between support and enabling?” Ming asked me. “It’s support when your therapist likes it, and it’s enabling when your therapist doesn’t like it,” I said. Ming laughed–he liked that distinction. “It’s support when you’re helping people do ‘good’ things, like exercise and go to the doctor and talk about their feelings.  It’s… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

virtue signaling

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I’m on a trip, not blogging much because my computer is half-broken.  Soon new tech will arrive.  Ming and I were talking about virtue signaling. Are you familiar with the concept?  Virtue signalling is when you do or say things to make sure everyone knows you’re good.  It can be… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

retiring

Hello, reader.  How are you?  I’m thinking of retiring from daily blogging.  It’s been a good run.  About 17 years blogging almost every day?  That’s pretty wild.  Way not to moderate, Laura-Marie.  Yes, I often do something daily or not at all. I’m grateful for what I’ve done–I don’t regret it.  But maybe my energy… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

what’s bringing me the most joy

Hello, reader.  How are you?  My housemate friend asked what’s bringing me the most joy these days. This housemate asks great questions and is the best listener in the world.  Yeah, I’m going out on a limb to say that.  I thought Ming was, or maybe my best friend.  But this person has such a… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

cherche

“What are you looking for?  Everything you need is in this bed!  Unless Bunny fell out,” I said.  “Cherche” means search in French.  I think of that word often–not sure why. It’s like buscar in Spanish.  Those words mean a lot to me.  I can get super-affectionate about words. Do you have words like cherche… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

mystical experiences

Hey, how are you doing? I was working on a post about mystical experiences here on Listening to the Noise Until It Makes Sense.  Then I decided to shunt it over to my autism blog because it turned out very pertinent to autism.  So it’s being read over there. It’s confusing to me, how to… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

mercy

Hello, I wrote something about mercy that felt important to me.  It’s some truth I sent as a post-argument email.  The ideas matter to me, and maybe it could enjoy a larger audience. Mercy = I don’t deserve your consideration.  Please give it to me anyway.  I’m a creature who makes mistakes.  Please see my… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

things we’re not supposed to talk about

“Hey, dear.  My asshole feels burning, sort of like I ate a hot chile.  Is that ok?” I asked Ming. “Yeah,” he said. “Only I didn’t eat a hot chile.  Maybe it’s from when I had diarrhea, previous night.  Did that ever happen to you?” I asked “Yeah,” he said. “Oh, but you always eat… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

feelings about adoption

I made this post adoption is not the solution.  I wanted to shed some light on the adoption struggle, the truth about adoption, and how lies about adoption fuel the anti-choice movement.  Feelings about adoption are strong, and of course it’s a complex subject. I was trying to add nuance to the pool of ideas,… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

be my guest

Hello, I’m so excited–my second guest blog post Disabled Permaculture is out on my friend’s Awkward Botany blog.  Please take a look! I talk about how Ming and I are disabled, how disabled permaculture is a great way for us to garden and do community, and how it’s part of our interdependent family.  Gardening is… Read More »