Hello, reader. How are you doing? Ming and I were talking about how many skills that people assume are connected are actually not connected skills. The assumption that the skills are “two sides of the same coin” can cause a lot of hardship and misunderstanding. An example is ethical non-monogamy. Just because I’m good at… Read More »
A friend asked on facebook what care looks like as a verb. I answered with lots of words and decided to write this essay about accountability to share with you. what care looks like Care looks like all of these. wanting to show up clarity follow thru consistency curiosity loose grip playfulness aftercare treating a… Read More »
Been thinking a lot about nurturing. What I give, and why–who I choose to support emotionally. quiet For the first half of my life, my goal was to stay quiet and dodge harm. I was different from the people around me in what I needed, and my differences were not understood and respected. So my… Read More »
Being able to have difficult conversations is something I need, in any close relationship. I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, the five things I need, non-negotiable. the five things I need mutual respect Respect is like love, but less sparkly. I need to be seen as pretty much equal to anyone I’m going to… Read More »
The problem with telling people how I feel is they might believe they need to change their behavior. I want to be honest without being controlling. Is that possible? I apologize to people for when I did or said something I was afraid was hurtful, and some people have a big reaction to that. A… Read More »