“Are my clothes appropriate?” I asked Ming. They looked at me. We were about to go out to the farmers market. “Yes,” they said. “Good,” I replied. “I figure it’s October now. So all clothes are appropriate. I just pretend I’m going to a Halloween costume party, if someone thinks it’s not appropriate.” Ming and… Read More »
Hey, reader. How are you doing? How’s your gender these days? Do you feel empowered to be who you are, as more people are out as trans? I do! I feel binary gender break down a bit more, and I need that. Yes, there is danger from conservative people, and it hurts to see queers… Read More »
Hello, reader–how are you doing? How do you navigate age difference? I had a lot of older friends when I was young. Now that I’m middle aged, I have a lot of younger friends. You know me–I see people as people. I’m not scared off by difference. In fact I seek it out. Difference is… Read More »
Hello, reader. How are you doing? I’ve been thinking about the part of love that’s giving people space–I’ve been thinking about boundaries as love. This idea is very important to me. You know how music is made of sounds, but there can be silence between bits of sound? The rests are so delicious. Or an… Read More »
I’m done being called too much by many people, feeling shame, and tiptoeing around that. Trying to predict what will overwhelm others so I can contort myself into not doing it is bullshit. Lately I’m trying not to accept the shame. My way of reframing the situation is like: I’m not too much–you’re not enough.… Read More »
Hello, how are you doing? My friend mentioned the children’s magazine Highlights on social media and listed what they liked best about it. It’s funny because we’re both queer poet-artists who do radical mental health and have so much in common. But we mentioned totally different parts of the magazine. This is what I liked… Read More »
Hello, how are you doing? Ming and I are on a journey, searching for home. I’m thinking about my needs lately, the true truth. Not what I think I should need, but what I actually, for reaslsies need to feel safe in my home. A big part of that is bathrooms. I was worried about… Read More »
Hello, I’ve been thinking about what is safe. Do you feel safe? What percentage of the time? In your home, outside your home? In your own body? Do you think you deserve to feel safe? How about other people–do we? Do you accept that what you need to feel safe might be different from what… Read More »
Ming and I were looking for a place to live that’s not in the desert. That process helped me vision, long and hard. I started thinking in a new way about what I need. What are the basic needs, my minimum requirements? Long ago I made a list of what I would enjoy for my… Read More »
I was telling my good friend about an experience I had as a kid that was vital to my well-being. It helped me understand there’s a bigger world than my home and the town I lived in. At UC Santa Barbara I learned about queerness, race, freedom, music, writing, friendship. It helped me understand that… Read More »