Categories
Dangerous Compassions

clouds

Oh hey, gmorning.  Could I show you some pictures?  These clouds amazed me the other day, in the early morning. Then here’s another sky pic.  What do you think of these clouds?  Stormy!  So pretty!  That sunny part seemed like a magical light place, a portal to a bright world I could dream about. Then… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

birthday realized

My birthday realized was very well-celebrated yesterday and with friends the previous days.  Can I show you some pictures? We did an easy ritual.  Prayer, brownie nut cake as is our tradition, flowers, gifts from friends, I opened the birthday mail, read aloud the poems written for me.  It was a brilliant love fest, though… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

choice

Sometimes people praise me for something I do, and I thank them.  But sometimes I want to say urgently, “I had no choice.  I could do that, or I could die.” I hear people complain about society not validating their needs and choice, and I’m like, “Why are you still waiting for society to validate… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

the kind of fun where you cry a lot

“Will you be extra gentle with me and give me extra hugs today and let me need you more?” I asked Ming. “Yes,” he said. “Thank you!” I said.  I was crying on his back as he was waking up.  We were lying in bed, and I was getting his shoulder wet with tears. If… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

birthday dream

I had a birthday dream I was at the ashram I used to go to in Sacramento.  But it was different from how it really was.  Ming and I were in a big hall.  People were arriving from far away, mostly dressed in monk’s attire.  And then other people were excited to see them. More… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

the mackerel experiment

Oh hey.  I’d like to tell you about the mackerel experiment.  Did you know some people like to eat fish?  Yes, those sleek animals that swim in the water.  Ming is one of those people.  Some people enjoy eating salmon, cod, or catfish.  Ming’s favorite type of fish to eat is mackerel. I was talking… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

September

September I’m crying because it’s September again, and I have to do it without my mama again.  I love September–it’s my birth month.  But doesn’t feel possible to live through again, without her. So here I am.  Feeling the pain–doing grief.  How do I make plans?  I keep learning, changing, and moving forward.  But sometimes… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

super cute

We have helped my super cute love Ming transition from 54 to 55 years old.  We did good.  Congratulations!  You have arrived at the speed limit. I was singing in the desert to Mother God, a sweet song, Eight Stanzas to Bhavani.  It’s in Sanskrit.  I’d like to record it for you, but I’m having… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

thank you to Ming

Dear Ming, Thank you for cleaning the stove last night.  It looks beautiful!  It’s easier to cook when I’m not dodging old beans, ends of asparagus stems, brown leaves, potato eyes all looking at me, from the refuse pile. Thank you for when you cover me with the blanket and give me the little pat… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

birthday person

Yesterday was Ming’s birthday party.  He’s a birthday person!  I’d had around three hours of sleep and was emotional and having a hard time doing anything. Sleep has moved from a second tier problem to a first tier problem.  So I would like to throw it off a pier.  Chuck it like a starfish!  But… Read More »