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Dangerous Compassions

slipping into the previous relationship

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  I have a problem with slipping into the previous relationship, after deciding on a change.  Do you have that problem? My good friend told me they had changed things with their ex. “Then you have done the thing,” I said.  “You are like a god now.” I looked at… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

you treat women like shit

Hello, I made this poetry meme this morning, working through relationship pain.  This sentence “You treat women like shit” came to me as a clear distillation about a man I loved who used me bad.  That’s how he treated everyone.  But women more so–especially vulnerable disabled women. It was one of those, “But I’m a… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

how to know it’s a no

Trying to get away from the last person I was in a dysfunctional relationship with–wow, that was hard work.  I’ve had many low-key dysfunctional relationships, but this was one of the more dangerous and expensive.  I want to write about how to know it’s a no.  Please learn from my errors! when you’re afraid to… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

Las Vegas as abuser

I loved Las Vegas so much.  But lately I’ve been thinking about Las Vegas as abuser. moving When Ming and I moved away from Las Vegas last month, we were leaving my home, a place I’d given seven years of my life, the beautiful land where I went on the Sacred Peace Walk and learned… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

non-violent communication

I’ve had a problem with non-violent communication for a long time.  It’s been used to hurt me.  Also it creeps me out.  There was the “bunch of middle class white people in a room, talking about feelings and patting each other on the back” factor.  The real me was not allowed, for sure: skeptical, complicated,… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

nurturing

Been thinking a lot about nurturing.  What I give, and why–who I choose to support emotionally. quiet For the first half of my life, my goal was to stay quiet and dodge harm.  I was different from the people around me in what I needed, and my differences were not understood and respected.  So my… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

abuse

Here are some ways to say no to abuse.  Please feel free to use this language to explain a situation, break up, or ask for space. no I realize this relationship has become a way for me to distract myself from what I was put on Earth to do. That’s not appropriate. You’re not allowed… Read More »

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Dangerous Compassions

Audre Lorde

Men who are afraid to feel must keep women around to do their feeling for them while dismissing us for the same supposedly “inferior” capacity to feel deeply. — Audre Lorde Wow, I’m doing a project with Audre Lorde quotes, so I was reading through scads of them.  She has knocked my socks off so… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

against punishment

This is a second meeting for a workshop about how to respond to harm in healthy ways that actually help us.  It’s called Against Punishment and is important to me. I don’t want to rely on broken punitive systems.  Feels related to the work I do around abusers in radical spaces.  I believe in community… Read More »

Categories
Dangerous Compassions

community responsibility

I heard–our lives are how we want them to be.  If you’re super busy, that’s what you want.  If you’re rushed, over-committed, scattered–no one’s in charge of your life but you. content warning: mention of domestic violence I heard it to shame people who are in violent relationships.  Like–if she stays even though the man… Read More »