Hello, reader. How are you doing? I have a problem with slipping into the previous relationship, after deciding on a change. Do you have that problem? My good friend told me they had changed things with their ex. “Then you have done the thing,” I said. “You are like a god now.” I looked at… Read More »
Hello, I made this poetry meme this morning, working through relationship pain. This sentence “You treat women like shit” came to me as a clear distillation about a man I loved who used me bad. That’s how he treated everyone. But women more so–especially vulnerable disabled women. It was one of those, “But I’m a… Read More »
Trying to get away from the last person I was in a dysfunctional relationship with–wow, that was hard work. I’ve had many low-key dysfunctional relationships, but this was one of the more dangerous and expensive. I want to write about how to know it’s a no. Please learn from my errors! when you’re afraid to… Read More »
I loved Las Vegas so much. But lately I’ve been thinking about Las Vegas as abuser. moving When Ming and I moved away from Las Vegas last month, we were leaving my home, a place I’d given seven years of my life, the beautiful land where I went on the Sacred Peace Walk and learned… Read More »
I’ve had a problem with non-violent communication for a long time. It’s been used to hurt me. Also it creeps me out. There was the “bunch of middle class white people in a room, talking about feelings and patting each other on the back” factor. The real me was not allowed, for sure: skeptical, complicated,… Read More »
Been thinking a lot about nurturing. What I give, and why–who I choose to support emotionally. quiet For the first half of my life, my goal was to stay quiet and dodge harm. I was different from the people around me in what I needed, and my differences were not understood and respected. So my… Read More »
Here are some ways to say no to abuse. Please feel free to use this language to explain a situation, break up, or ask for space. no I realize this relationship has become a way for me to distract myself from what I was put on Earth to do. That’s not appropriate. You’re not allowed… Read More »
Men who are afraid to feel must keep women around to do their feeling for them while dismissing us for the same supposedly “inferior” capacity to feel deeply. — Audre Lorde Wow, I’m doing a project with Audre Lorde quotes, so I was reading through scads of them. She has knocked my socks off so… Read More »
This is a second meeting for a workshop about how to respond to harm in healthy ways that actually help us. It’s called Against Punishment and is important to me. I don’t want to rely on broken punitive systems. Feels related to the work I do around abusers in radical spaces. I believe in community… Read More »
I heard–our lives are how we want them to be. If you’re super busy, that’s what you want. If you’re rushed, over-committed, scattered–no one’s in charge of your life but you. content warning: mention of domestic violence I heard it to shame people who are in violent relationships. Like–if she stays even though the man… Read More »