“Why do angels have wheels?” I asked Ming.
You know Ming is a Jewish witch. We have lived long, complicated lives.
“The Ophanim have wheels because they are God’s conveyance,” Ming said.
“Oh!” I said. “Ok.”
I pondered the Abrahamic God needing a conveyance.
“It makes sense because I’m used to the Hindu deities needing a conveyance,” I said.
Durga has a lion; Ganesha has a mouse. Ganesha’s conveyance is funny. Thank you for having a sense of humor, Hinduism.
Ophanim
Reading the wikipedia article, not sure Ming was right. Or Ming could be extra-right, and the wikipedia could be missing an idea. So often, religions rhyme.
We have a lot of dots to connect. It’s almost my birthday. I have been menstruating for 40 years now. Maybe I’m almost done.
eyes
“The wheels have eyes,” Ming added. “Maybe so the angels can see where God is going?”
I thought about omniscience and felt befuddled.
“Maybe the angels are like those service dogs who disobey the command, if it will put the disabled person in danger,” I said.
We laughed, imagining angels as service dogs for a disabled God.
why angels have wheels
During my art retreat, I made this art of angels.
bits and bobs
I wanted to dig a hole at the Sanctuary and pee into it, while I was menstruating, so chunks of my uterus would go into the hole. And then when the week was over, I could plant a lemon verbena or lavender or rosemary in the hole to be nourished by my body.
“Feel how heavy that is,” I said, handing Ming a saturated pad.
Ming felt the weight.
“I worked hard to make that,” I said.
The plants I don’t plant, the babies I never had, the adults who don’t exist due to the babies I never had not existing. The food I never grew. A novel I keep writing in my mind, but never writing on the computer. It’s self-doubt, or I doubt others. I doubt they would enjoy it.
I guess I’m the one who needs to enjoy writing it. Probably I don’t love the characters enough. I get the feeling I need to be in love with my characters in order to sustain the energy.
trilobites
“Trilobites have eyes,” Ming said.
“Are they angels?” I asked.
“Yes,” Ming said.
