Hello, reader. How are you doing? Do you know where psychosis comes from? In my experience, it’s stress– something really bad is happening that’s out of our control, and the body is overwhelmed in a way that goes beyond.
Sleep deprivation, stress, maybe too many things going wrong at once, and blammo. It’s more than a body can handle. The harm needs to go somewhere, and it folds in on itself. Contact with “shared reality” gets loose, and messages are arriving in strange places.
I’m honest with Ming and ask for help. Then Ming helps keep me safe until it’s over. And I get ready for it to happen again, because often I will get two weeks of psychosis, then some reprieve, and psychosis will return for round two.
questions for discussion
- How does psychosis work for you?
- Did it come from a traumatic event, or sleep deprivation?
- Is it a common thing?
- What topics does your mind grasp onto, when you get psychotic?
- Do you have a mix of fearful and grandiose?
- Who do you trust when you feel this way?
- Is there someone who will take care of you?
unsafe
Hearing voices is normal and everyday for me, but full on episodes of going to another dimension—terrified, hiding out, and hating myself– are rare.
I learned from a helpful mental health consultant that psychosis sometimes is due to un-safeness physically in our bodies, such as immune system response. The body feels unsafe but can’t figure out why, so the mind creates reasons.
Rest and nutrition to strengthen the immune system can help. Certain supplements, extra protein to keep blood sugars study, treating long-simmering infections… I have dental trauma and poverty, so I tend to ignore my teeth. But if issues are avoided until extreme pain forces me to the dentist, that’s not good for my mental health as well as physical.
content warning: mention of traumas
With racism, extreme poverty, domestic violence, neglect, sexual violation, and other trauma as kids, our little developing bodies were flooded with stress hormones. A lot of people who have high ACE scores have auto-immune disorders and chronic pain, disabled with mental health stuff but also our physical bodies.
My massage therapist used to ask before she knew me, “Are you diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder?” because she had to touch me very gently. My body is in so much pain on a daily basis. She was the first massage therapist to believe me, how gently I need to be touched.
I have not been diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder; I’m fat and I’ve avoided medical care all my life as much as possible, since being fat is the longterm go-to reason for any medical issue I present with. I’ve been dismissed and disrespected for that.
Ming has pain too, often these days, but Ming’s goes away with over the counter analgesics and when their narcolepsy stimulants kick in. My pain fluctuates, but it doesn’t go away.
crisis mode
When I’m having a psychotic episode, that’s disruptive. I can’t do my normal things; I go into crisis mode. I ask Ming to help me stay indoors so I don’t get arrested or psych imprisoned.
Once I start feeling better, Ming will escort me out for a walk every day. The episodes last two weeks for me. When my mom was dying, that was the worst. Deep unsafe feelings snowball.
When houseless people have psychotic episodes, many observers think it’s drugs, or they were crazy to begin with. But being that vulnerable and exposed, with no safe place to sleep or use the bathroom, no dignity to take a shower and wear clean clothes, while struggling with disabilities as well…
Being treated like trash by our culture would be enough to start a psychotic episode, for people who are vulnerable to that. Long term infections and chronic sleep deprivation for houseless people is a thing. We know sleep deprivation contributes to big moods, upsets, poor choices, and psychosis.
where psychosis comes from
I thought you might like to hear about psychosis from someone who has experienced it. You’re welcome.
Psychosis is so much work to survive with freedom and relationships intact. Love to amazing caregivers like Ming. Love to everyone who struggles to stay in this dimension. I wish you had been protected and given what you need. Thank you for your crazy survival. I love you. Your gifts are changing the world.
