Hello, reader. How you doing? Ming was recently interviewed by a newspaper about family history. It made me think about boundaries and how I’ve been treated by the press over the years. A few times, I’ve come out of the experience feeling used. So I’ve thought a lot about the temporary relationship that forms during an interview, and how casual intimacy can harm the person with less power. This is my advice for interviews with the press.
questions about goals
The most important question is– what will this info be used for, and who will that benefit or potentially hurt? What’s the interviewer’s agenda?
How do the interviewer’s goals contrast with my goals? And why did I agree to this interview?
Information wants to be free, but I like to consider– is this my story to tell? Usually there’s a value I believe in and want to offer up to the world like a tasty morsel, such as disability justice or autistic liberation. Or maybe I want to talk about some fact of reality which has been overlooked that I want to draw attention to. Maybe I want my projects promoted.
I go into an interview having defined my boundaries, knowing what I will and won’t talk about.
pace
To stay intentional about what I’m saying, I like to remember to slow the interview down for my benefit. I don’t want to get excited and say more than I meant to say. I want to take a deep breath, pause between questions, and have a deflecting word chunk in my pocket like, “I’m not sure I want to talk about that.”
Writing notes for myself beforehand can help me stick to what I want to say. Having a piece of paper in front of me with notes is grounding.
Next time maybe I’ll go into it saying explicitly that I want to speak slowly and stay focused. Maybe the journalist is a good person who does consent and doesn’t want to take more than I want to give.
distance
It’s important to keep in mind that I don’t work for this person, and I’m not getting paid for this interview– they’re getting paid. I don’t need to offer to do more for them, like find information.
Sometimes an interviewer can seem friendly, but they’re not my friend, and I don’t want to get swept up in their goals. There’s no established trust. I need to stay centered in my own goals, have boundaries, and keep some distance. I don’t want to be swept out in their tide. I’m a powerful person, and I deserve my needs respected. I’ve worked so hard to uncover my needs and finally assert them.
I don’t want to talk too long. If they want a second interview, they can ask, and I’m free to say yes or no.
newspapers
I think newspaper interviews have been the worst. Those journalists were exploited and in turn would exploit me.
The best interviews were with people I sort of knew or had some big values in common with, like when Will Hall and Jacks McNamara interviews me for Mad In America. That was a fun interview, although I feel embarrassed about how long I talked in the extended version about Disabled Resilience Permaculture. The interviewers were kind and respectful.
Another good interview was about zines and trikesluttery with the artist formerly known as Dabby Longlegs.
There’s always a chance I’ll get cute-i-fied or used somehow. But I love how interviews can reach a new audience. And I’ve had feedback that my interviews have helped people find community and the desire to continue living.
questions to ask about any interview with the press
What is the goal of the journalist?
What is your goal being interviewed?
Will you be allowed to see a draft and remove anything you didn’t mean to say?
How will you be credited?
Will your website and social media links be included?
Are you being treated respectfully?
Is the story yours to tell?
Who might be hurt by you sharing this info?
Who might be helped by you sharing this info?
How can this interview change the world?
grounding
Before the interview I like to gather materials such as a rock to hold, a flower or herbs like a stick of rosemary, and maybe light a candle. Probably I’ll hold Bunny. I like to pray a prayer like this.
Mother God, please bless me to tell the truth and be who I am in this interview. Please help me speak in ways that will reach the hearts of whoever listens. Please protect me from being misunderstood and from my words being used for harm. Thank you for the opportunity to share what I know. Please bless the interviewers to act with integrity and the best interests of all involved. Thank you– I love you.
