Hey, reader. How are you doing? It’s the PMS of the year. Here in the northern hemisphere, we have spring. And in this part of Oregon, spring is in full force. The lilacs have begun to bloom in Eugene. I feel dissatisfaction with my life, and a spring cleaning feeling. So much has got to go.
I was going to say it’s restlessness, but I don’t need to wiggle. More that I feel a big “no” to what’s been hurting me, which has been hurting me for a long time. But I didn’t mention it because I was trying to be easy and keep my visions to myself, as Stevie Nicks said.
If it’s the PMS of the year, let’s find all the dirty laundry and put it in the wash. Let’s open the windows and let the sun shine its truth. Let’s open the closet and let the skeletons dance out. It’s time for a hearty dose of truth, so bring it.
Long ago my friend told me how PMS can be great for change. That which has been tolerated is no longer tolerated. Maybe we can go back to a more chill part of the cycle later.
time to myself
I bought this car maybe a year ago, from an elder down the street– it’s a Prius with lots of miles on it. The whole purpose was to go to the woods by myself, especially when I have PMS. That way I could be kinder to Ming and nourish my soul. My car is named Cabin in the Woods: Cabin for short.
A lot of people over the years have told me to focus on myself. Kinda like people used to tell me to love myself, and I had no idea how to do that. When I was upset about justice in community or what someone I loved was doing, I would be told to focus on myself.
Over time, I taught myself what it means to love myself. But I didn’t understand what it means to focus on myself. Well, I think last week I figured it out. Thank you to the PMS of the year for helping me understand to give fewer fucks about others. Yes, my own projects are worthy of attention, even if my own projects is just going out to the woods.
This was yesterday with my bisexual beverages: blueberry tofu smoothie and marshmallow tea. (My water was in the car.)
I’ve been writing my own scriptures and enjoying the tail end of this bout of spring insanity. I heard that writing the scriptures is a mitzvah, so why not.
questions for discussion
What are your projects these days?
Do you have PMS?
Do you love yourself? How, if so?
How many beverages?
What do you put in your smoothies?
Do you need to go out to the woods by yourself?
What would you write in your scriptures?
What do you find, when you find yourself?
