Hello, reader. How are you doing? I’ve been thinking about loving people where they’re at. Loving people where they’re at is my values. It reminds me of unconditional love.
When I encounter any person, I’m encountering also their view of the world. I gravitate to unconventional views of reality. Queer, creative crazy people are my people.
Believing in patriarchy, binary gender, exploiting Parent Earth… is just as delusional as believing agents are following me, aliens are tracking me, etc. I mean to say that all minds are full of compromises, and I prefer creative ones.
radical acceptance
This topic reminds me of medical environments where doctors think I should lose 100 pounds first because obviously the real problem here is I’m fat. They resist helping the person I am, when they see me as a “before” picture and think I have a responsibility to be a smaller size. But I wish they would help me as the person I actually am.
That’s why I always say “all bodies are valid bodies.” Doctors act like my body isn’t valid, so they don’t need to help me.
But they are mistaken–it’s their job to help everyone. My body is great, actually. My health is mine; my lack of health is mine. My disabilities are mine. I would challenge them to a dance-off or a stim-off.
I have so much practice loving myself in adverse environments, like stressing tomatoes makes them more delicious or productive. Or I’m a wine grape growing in adverse circumstances and will make a tasty wine.
loving people where they’re at
It’s basic respect, loving people where they’re at. To see your strengths and love you for them, and to see your struggles and love you for them as well, with grace. I ponder the Mystery. I don’t know your life, needs, or spirit. Or I kind of do, but I have no right or desire to tread on you…
Love is an honor. It’s an honor to love you as you are.
Love is like honey, sweetening the deal. I’m drizzling it around and licking it off.
Living with Ming for 14 years, I remind myself also, this person is filled with Mystery. In some ways– true, I know them better than they know themself. But at the same time, I will never know them, and I’m glad.
Every time I think Ming owes me something, I step back. We are married, but two people. Ming’s energetic sovereignty is sacred, and yours is too. And mine.
Everyone makes mistakes. We don’t have to be perfect to deserve love. I’m sorry for the people going around pretending they’re perfect so they deserve love.
The pretending gets us in trouble. You’re worthy right now.
