Hi, reader. How are you doing? Last week I had a dentist appointment, the easiest I’ve ever had. I think I understand now, how to survive the dentist.
Historically I’m upset the day before, freaked out the day of, then need two days to recover. Yes, four days blown! Only pre-care, appointment, and aftercare on the agenda. This is my life!
This time it was bad beforehand, and I needed extra rest and reduced stress for a couple days. But we prepared so well.
I want to tell you how we did it, in case you need help too.
prayers beforehand
First I let my closest friends know the appointment was coming up. I asked them to pray for me and hold me in their hearts.
Then I wrote this prayer on lavender paper with a lot of care. A few times I read it to myself before the appointment, and I asked Ming to read it out loud to me.
Then I folded it in quarters, text side out, to keep in my right front pants pocket during the appointment.
Making clear requests is helpful– the magic of asking for what I need.
make a plan
Also we made a list of what time to leave, what to bring, what to do afterward, and a meal plan for the whole day.
This was what we said to bring.
- lavender prayer
- headphones
- water
- Bunny in the car
- applesauce in the car
This was what to do afterward.
- eat applesauce in the car
- magnesium glycinate
- chamomile tea
- prayer
- rest
- gratitude journal
- desire journal
- read to me
As for food, your meal plan will vary. But abundant protein is helpful for extra stress times.
I brewed a mason jar of chamomile tea the day before. It’s good cold.
As Ming drove us to the appointment, I hugged Bunny and cried. It’s a blessing and a skill, to feel my feelings.
spouse
After the appointment, we went for a walk at a bird place. The path to the bird viewing platform we like was flooded. But it was great to move around in the sunshine and wind, thanking Mother God for my life and for the world.
Ming was there for me with abundant aftercare. Yes, Ming is amazing.
All the things you think are great about Ming are absolutely true. There’s no exaggeration.
Love is a powerful energy. Brilliant people ready, willing, and able to be kind and fair to one another, can create an amazing force. Yes, love is how to survive the dentist.
content warning: mention of sexual assault
So yeah. Our mouths are part of our bodies. If I want to live a long time, or have a chance to, I need to care for my whole body. My gums can get too much inflammation; inflammation can hurt my heart.
I would rather live another 30 years, or until the planet is uninhabitable.
I’m sorry many people were assaulted, violenced, and abused as children, which makes us terrified of feeling trapped as someone with more power reaches into our bodies to hurt us, without real consent.
If I had three times more energy, I would start a nonprofit for educating dental offices. They could become trauma-informed and respectful to disabled people. There’s so much we could do, to make a better environment for people who have survived trauma, and autistic people like me.
questions for discussion
How long would you like to live?
How do you prepare for appointments that scare you?
What non-profit would you like to start, but never will make time for?
How do your disabilities inform your needs?
What social institutions do you notice are badly in need of change, but have been stuck for decades?
Where do you feel ableism in your body?
Who listens, cares, and believes you?
hugs
Your health matters, and your life is sacred. You are worthy of love and care!
On my headphones I was listening to crickets, frogs, and owls. The sounds helped me dissociate in a safe way.
