Hello, reader. How you? There’s a new question on our fridge’s white board–it’s a pleasure check. It says, “Laura-Marie, are you enjoying what you’re doing right now?”
I wrote this pleasure check on the white board (and asked Ming to ask me the question sometimes) because too often I’m doing things that I don’t like. But for not that good a reason.
why I do things I don’t want to be doing
- because I think I have to
- fear of judgement for not
- habit
- stuck
- can’t think of an alternative solution
- someone I respect told me to
- on autopilot
- having trouble transitioning out of an activity or place
- that fallacy about giving a lot to a project, and the investment means it’s hard to stop even when it’s not working
- it seemed like the next thing to do on a progression
- following through on a plan that used to make sense
- I don’t even realize I’m doing it
- I learned as a child through Christianity and in my family that suffering is proof of love and commitment
- also that pleasure is fleeting, suspect, selfish, and possibly a sin
Some of those things are tougher than others, to work my way out of. But I love myself. If I keep in mind that life is supposed to be fun, pleasure is sacred, I deserve to be happy, and why I’m one earth, I can have a better life.
Then the people around me might have a better life too, as they see me happy.
love
So much lately I’ve been thinking about how what we do affects others. It’s logistical, spiritual, direct and indirect…
I was sitting on Parent Earth yesterday holding a new love, so sacred to me. I felt the bliss pour through my body, and I got a strong message: This magic is about you, but it’s also about more than you.
It was a good reminder–thank you, God, for the helpful sentence. We are building relationship and feeling pleasure for our own joyful healing, but also it reverberates out. What we do with harsh selfishness affects others, but what we do with deep compassion affects others too. All that we do matters, even in the privacy of a bed or under a tree in a front yard in Eugene, Oregon.
pleasure check
So this is your pleasure check for today. Are you enjoying what you’re doing right now? Do you need more ease, fun, bliss, ecstatic states, joyful movement, something to look forward to?
Ming and I gratitude journal every day for a few reasons, but one reason is I can learn what Ming likes and try to help them get more. Over the years I see patterns. Also I can hear myself say what I like and give myself more too. Gratitude journal is like prayer. Even if no one else is listening, I’m listening.
How can you prioritize pleasure? Who can you share pleasure with? Let’s let go of old ideas that were never ours, about pleasure as selfish or untrustworthy. I trust pleasure more than anything. I want to listen to pleasure, not fear.
