This is a letter to a young poet. They might not identify as a poet the way people who make art might not identify as artists. The label sounds like a big deal.
But I know a little about who they are and feel qualified to call them poet, artist, visionary, genius, activist, radical, witch. All those are love words for me.
letter to a young poet
Dear one,
I think about you, how being a young adult, you might feel so much to prove. I’m sorry if it feels like toxic masculinity, where toxic masculinity partly comes from.
You are expected to be, do, and know so many things, while given so little support and preparation. I’m sorry culture is pressuring you to perform. You deserve so much more than that.
You deserve a place to learn and try things, which always includes making mistakes. I wish to provide a safe spot by the fireplace to lie your dog-self down and not need to prove anything. Do you want that also?
It’s actually me who’s looking for a safe spot by the fireplace to lie my dog-self down all the time. The fireplaces are too few and far between, and the very soft blankets. I’m crying to explain.
cycling through people
You’ve spent your life cycling through people. I’m honored you’ve stayed close to me as long as you have. Maintaining relationships can be hard as you figure out who you are and what you want. Basics of fairness, telling the truth, and how to break up with people are a big deal.
I make so many mistakes. The only benefit I find from losing people is that I lose the witnesses who saw me make big mistakes. It’s encouraging how new people are a fresh start.
Are you valuing novel experiences? Yes, very much so. I relate because I need learning. Novelty means so much learning so fast.
Are you valuing deep connections which build and grow into something extensive? You know that’s all I want. I have so little social energy; being casual feels like a waste of time. I maintain relationships that are huge like mountains, rich with detail and decades of shared life. That’s normal for me, and I’m blessed to have many true friends.
I’m sorry if you have fewer steady people. But I have faith that you are growing into someone skilled with truth and knowing who to trust.
thin ice
Many aspects of my life, I feel big questions about. Venturing out onto the pond, I’m afraid of the thin ice. That was kind, how you offered to reassure me if any of the thin ice I’m feeling is about you.
I want to do more for me. There’s a tie dying project I’ve been half-ready for for a long time. I have all the materials but need to write my plan down, clear my desk, and do it.
That would free me up from holding the task in my mind. It would clear some stuckness. But it’s hard to feel like I have the energy to do all the steps in a reliable way.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s not important. But I don’t want to waste my life scrolling on my phone and fretting about random relationship bullshit when I’m here to do a lot of things. I like how it feels to complete tasks, following through when it’s for me, not to please another person. That’s too rare.
tea
Kind of like how I would make tea for other people, but never for myself. It took a lot of work to convince myself that I’m worth the effort. Thank you for being part of that.
Honestly I learn a lot from social media and follow brilliant artists, writers, and thinkers. I enjoy having a tie to pop culture–there were many years that I opted out of pop culture almost entirely. I don’t want to hate on my phone.
It’s more that I want to center myself in my own life more and more. Doing actions like chopping wood. That requires intention.
Thank you for making me tea. You teach me I have worth through words and through your actions. I’m sorry I get stuck on details of pain, when there are countless good things. You are a blessing to my life.
I love you,
