dance in the revolution

Yesterday we held the first fat transqueer disabled dance.  It was a beautiful day for unconditional love.  All bodies are valid bodies, and I’m compelled to co-create a space where all bodies belong.  I’m happy to dance in the revolution.

When I scheduled the fat transqueer disabled dance, I didn’t know there was a huge nationwide protest scheduled for yesterday.  It was called Hands Off, and some people I invited to the fat transqueer disabled dance didn’t attend because they were busy at the protest.  The timing conflict was unfortunate, and I’m sorry folks needed to choose.

At the end of the dance, I asked if we could circle.  We held hands, and I thanked everyone for making a respectful space together for movement.  By welcoming all bodies as valid, we can dance in the revolution.  We were living the world that the protesters were speaking up for.  Yes, we were doing it already in the courtyard where a beautiful maple tree shed its yellow pollen.  Ladybugs were with us.  The sky is my best friend.

Ming and I brought beautiful roses, some bottles of water, strong chairs.  Friends brought food.  I’d made a Dance in the Revolution sign early that morning, insomnia painting as now I am insomnia writing–insomnia from chronic pinched nerve pain.

The tree is because this Pacific Northwest is a forest land.  The sun is because I worship the sun, which gives our Parent Earth energy.  And I put a heart because love is the motivation for everything.

signs

Also I brought signs that I’ve made over the past five years.

• The Future is Nonbinary
• Community Is Possible
• The Future is Neurodiverse
• All Bodies are Valid Bodies
• Disability Justice

“I’ve been preparing for this dance for years,” I told my dear friend.  “Based on the signs.”

“Well, who are we kidding.  You’ve been preparing for this dance your whole entire life,” my dear one said.

It’s true–they know me.  The project is that important to me, part of who I am.

what is fat transqueer disabled dance

We all deserve to move, free of the lies that cultures tells us about how only normative bodies matter.  Culture taught me that thin, abled bodies are allowed to dance in order to appear desirable.  But we can dance a realer truth, that everyone deserves to move in a group and belong.

Movement is joy!  I was taught that movement is exercise: punishment for eating, an obligation for health on someone else’s terms, and a way to diminish myself into thinness necessary to attract a mate.  But that’s not true.  Movement can be

• for our own pleasure
• to be who we are
• to loosen up
• move energy though
• get grounded
• learn who we are
• form community
• stay spiritually in flux

I love dance as a way to be Strawberry without language.  You know I love language and do it all day.  But I need a break to be more animal.  Dance gets my body and spirit doing the same thing at the same time.  Emotional healing is the result.

Seated dancing, finger dancing, eyebrow dancing, full body shaking my huge ass dancing, repetitive “committed to an idea” stim dancing, imagined dancing.  All dancing is welcome to us, in wheelchairs, with assistive devices, as whoever we are any given day.  With any amount of fatness, in any clothes, with any gender, with no gender at all.

loved

It felt like my ultimate birthday.  I was richly supported by friends who understand the assignment.  I was happy and fortunate to have help.  A talented DJ fae friend came and played much Caribbean music.  A beloved artist friend brought the donation can.  They chalked, then knitted with vibrant blue yarn.  They drew stars and ladybugs on the courtyard bricks.  The bright blue yarn creation was a sock for their child.  They showed us how stretchy.

The sun was shining, and my body felt freedom in the atmosphere of respect.  My hips got to do their work.  I shook what my mama gave me.  Thank you for my body, mama.

As for outreach, I was amazed that no stranger came considering the strawberry flier advert was shared with over a thousand people of Eugene via a radical signal chat and progressive email lists.  Afterward my DJ friend explained how it takes time for momentum to accumulate.  Other friends mentioned ways to make a new event more approachable.  Now I have ideas for next time.

Eleven people came total, if we count two friends who were there only briefly, and if we don’t count the ladybugs or Bunny.  But the truth is, Bunny is great to dance with.  In this picture, Ming and I hold hands, dancing with Bunny.  One of Bun’s ears hangs down, as Bun dances in bliss.

thank you

Thank you to Ming for all they schlept and for holding my hands physically and otherwise for almost 14 years.  They wore their I Confuse Doctors shirt and the blue skirt that used to be mine.  I’m happy to share.

Thank you to our chosen family member for schlepping a similar amount of materials and giving me emotional care yesterday and every day.  And to the DJ for so much musical inspiration.

Reader, thank you for all the ways you heal culture and try something new, or something old that needs a resurgence.

Respect is nothing new.  Love is something human beings are great at, if we’re given the right environment.  So thank you for loving with me.