patient

“Thank you for the 90 ways you’re patient with me,” I told Ming.

I have been somewhat out of my mind lately.

“You’re welcome,” Ming said.

“What about me?” I asked. “Was I ever patient with you?”

“I’ve lost count,” Ming said.

dinner

I was frying some veggie sausages as we had this conversation.  Ming had started the rice.

Spinach was next, sauteed in the veg sausage residue.  We have an ongoing play-conflict about putting salt in the rice.  I will spare you.

These are the things family is made of.  What we tease about, what we make every day–the long jokes are more valuable than rubies or diamonds.

On polo my good friend mentioned she didn’t know what she was cooking for dinner.  She has a boyfriend and two kids.  She hates grocery shopping.

It’s easy for me and Ming to think of what to have for dinner.  Maybe our bar is low?  Rice and veg sausages with peas or spinach.  Some other protein with fruit.  Potatoes and eggs.  More of the dal I made for lunch.  Tofu scramble with spices like smoked paprika, turmeric, and oregano, with a sauce of orange juice and red miso.

treat

Ming has cute convenience foods sometimes like frozen fish sticks or cut up pineapple.  Ming loves blueberries and eats them by the sink by the handful.

The other day I went to the grocery store without Ming, which is rare.  But I bought treats.

“Close your eyes and let me put a food in your mouth.  Keep your eyes closed.  You’re supposed to trust me.  It’s a surprise,” I said.

I opened the package of sunbutter cups and broke one into bite sized pieces.

“Okay, open your mouth,” I said.

I put the candy in Ming’s mouth.  They slowly chewed it and tasted it.

“Pretty good, right?” I asked.

“Yes,” Ming said.

“It’s the kind of thing you wouldn’t buy for yourself, right?” I asked.  “But it’s a nice treat.  Do you want more?”

It was silly, but this is how I want life to be.  There’s too much fighting and demands in community and the world at large.  So much feels out of my control.  But I can put delicious treats into the mouth of my trusting, patient lover.

questions for discussion

• Who is the grocery shopper in your family?
• What are you making for dinner?
• How do you like your potatoes?
• Are you patient?
• Do you put salt in the rice?
• How much do you enjoy the long jokes?
• Who do you love?
• What candy do you enjoy, at the end of the world?