Hello, this is a story about a teacher who inspired me named Jervey Tervalon. Lots of inspiring teacher stories, but this one ends in a way you might not expect.
job
Once upon a time I was a young adult and didn’t know what to do with my life. Well, I knew I was queer and didn’t want kids. Also I was fat and had other differences in how I experienced the world.
These are things I knew I wanted to do.
- love
- write
- be helpful in some way
- learn about the world
- visit the beach
- be myself
- be a good person
But I didn’t know what being a good person meant. And I didn’t know what I wanted to do for a job.
I was doing my best, feisty but afraid because I couldn’t think of any job that would work well for me. All I could think of was teacher. I loved books and talking about ideas. Teachers had changed my life in wonderful ways. They were stable adults who gave me hope that I could survive into adulthood.
school
So I decided to follow the path of a teacher I’d met named Jervey Tervalon. Jervey went to UCSB for undergrad, then got an MFA at University of California, Irvine, published a book, and taught. I thought maybe I could do that too. I decided to emulate him.
What a cool idea, Laura-Marie.
So I applied to grad school and tried that whole path. It was a great try. Even though I didn’t last long teaching, six and a half years was meaningful. I’m glad I tried because if I’d never tried, I wouldn’t know what I know now. If I’d never tried, I’d always be wondering.
In grad school I learned a lot about myself including more about my differences. I fell in love and got re-married. There was great suffering and great progress. There was September 11th, and September 11th was an important piece of how I was radicalized. This paragraph cannot contain the anguish and transformation I experienced. Please look away from this paragraph.
change
I taught University for four years, then moved out of southern California and taught community college for two and a half years.
Then all sorts of things happened I could not predict.
- finding community and interfaith peace work
- falling in love with Ming
- becoming disabled
- becoming a Catholic Worker
- my near death
- my dad’s death
- and my mom’s death
- moving to Oregon
- becoming an international zine star
Well, maybe that last one didn’t happen, but maybe a tiny bit.
Also I could not predict that there would be horrible fires in Los Angles this month which burned down the house of my hero Jervey. You can look at and contribute to his wife’s Gofundme here.
Please consider reading Jervey Tervalon’s books also.
4 replies on “teacher”
Thanks for once again writing out the truth in a beautiful, if sometimes painful, way. This reminds me of how I wanted to be a teacher in my past. Our society leaves behind so many people who yearn to share knowledge.
hello, friend. I think you would be an amazing teacher. thank you for the feedback.
Wow, Laura-Marie,
Thank you for sharing more of the mystery that makes you. That is such an important part of your life, that influence. Teachers were important for me, too, and I always try to see the light and brilliance in kids and teens and younger people and let them know, in a respectful way, in case they need that. I love knowing that this teacher helped you create a path ofdiscovery for yourself. This is a beautiful sharing you created.
thank you for the feedback, and thank you for being a good teacher. I’m happy you understand me.