pickles

“Tell me these aren’t the only pickles you bought,” I asked Ming, noticing some bread and butter pickles in the fridge.

“No,” he said.

“Ah, so you got some dill pickles,” I said.

“Yes,” Ming said.  “US pickles.  I looked hard for those.”

“Oh crap.  By US pickles, I meant not like Indian pickle,” I said.  “Was it hard to find US pickles?”

“Yes,” Ming said.

“I’m so sorry,” I said.  I laughed.

“There were a lot of German pickles,” he said.

“I was just differentiating from Indian pickle,” I said.

“I would not expect Indian pickle at Treader Joe’s,” Ming said.

Durga

Is it possible to dumb down Indian pickle for a Treader Joesian audience?  It’s Mother season, nearing the end of Durga puja, and I’ve been thinking about the way words can spin something more palatable or more scary.

Yesterday we went to Durga puja in Portland.  It was beautiful.  I missed the homa fire, but I was down the street as our chosen fam fixed our brakes.  I was lying on the ground on my back with my legs up a pole, chatting with said dear friend, and we smelled the homa fire.  The left front brake pad had slipped free of its caliper, and a terrible sound helped me and Ming understand there was a problem.

My chosen family member asked about temple vs ashram.  I explained that the Vedanta places are really ashrams because there’s a temple, but also people live there, and there are gardens.  The temple I think of as just the place of worship itself.

But if you’re trying not to alarm white neighbors…  Calling it a temple is more palatable, as an ashram can sound like a commune, which can sound like a cult.

You’re not supposed to discriminate against different religions.  But you’re allowed to hate cults.

hate

So many loopholes like that, right?  You’re not allowed to discriminate against Deaf people.  But you’re allowed to not have enough money to provide ASL interpretation, maybe?  Or fix the elevator.  You’re not allowed to hate disabled people.  But you’re allowed to say, “Your needs are more than we can meet, here,” if anyone needs access.

You’re not allowed to hate trans people.  But you’re allowed to say, “I don’t think this town is ready for that kind of change,” the way privileged people have been talking about civil rights for a long time.

What are you ready for?  Sometimes we’re not ready, but we have to do it anyway.  For example, I never met a person who was actually ready to have a baby.  Yet the baby might arrive anyway, so you better figure shit out.

no

“Is there anything else we need from Treader Joe’s?” I asked Ming yesterday.

“A parrot,” Ming said.

“God no,” I said.  “I would hate having a parrot.”