funny conversations lately

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  Here are some funny conversations lately.

needs

“I want to go to the desert–I need the desert,” I told Ming.  “But at the same time, I never want to be in the desert again.”

We were driving near McKenzie River for some nature time, near the place we picked blueberries in the summer.

“It was all I had–now we have the forest,” I said.  “I loved the desert.  But I kind of hated it.”

I felt bad for saying that, but it’s true.

“Also, I want to go to an art supply store,” I added.  “But I never want to go to a store again.  And I want to go to a dollar store and get some little rubber bands.”

I was looking in the passenger mirror and playing with my hair which has grown since I cut it at the end of March.  It’s long enough to put into little ponytails that might stick up like a toddler hairstyle.

“Yet I never want to go to a store again.  It’s like all of my needs contradict each other,” I continued.  “Did this ever happen to you before?”

“Yes,” Ming said, driving and stimming.

“It’s like my needs are laughing at me,” I said.  “It’s like they threw a party and I’m not invited.”

skeleton

“Oh hey, dear.  I read about this prank on instagram,” I said.

We were at home in the evening, talking in the bedroom as we did small tasks.

“It’s where you have a little skeleton and you put it somewhere in your house, then move it around,” I continued.  “You move it to different locations over the days, and then you say to your kids, ‘Thank you for moving the skeleton around!  It’s fun to see where it might turn up!’  And then the kids are like, ‘We aren’t moving the skeleton.’  So it’s a way to freak out your kids.”

Ming and I laughed, imagining.

“Yeah, I’m not sure why I’m planning how to freak out our children,” I said.  “Our non-existent children.  I think we did the biggest prank of all on our kids, not having any.”

Ming and I laughed more.

“Sorry, kids,” I said.

Of course Ming has kids in the Bay Area, but we didn’t have kids together.

moon

“Do you know where my glasses are?” I asked Ming.

It was early morning.  I was writing at my desk in the living room, and Ming had just woken up and was half-asleep.

“Oh,” Ming said and stumbled back to the bedroom.

“Were you using my glasses to read on the moon again?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“Why do you want to read on the moon?” I asked.

“Good light,” Ming said.