Hello, reader. How are you? I want to tell you how I read tarot. My approach is intuitive and fun. Reading tarot helps give my life direction, purpose, and meaning. It helps me feel empowered, and helps me think about my life in creative ways, including new perspectives. Tarot helps me feel unstuck–change is possible, thank goodness.
I’ve formed a pattern of how I read tarot. It might help others to see my way, in case you’d like to try it.
questions
Often I have a question bubbling inside me that instigates the reading. A situation is bothering me, and I get the feeling I’m missing something. Or a situation is very important to me– a potential breakup, a trip, a change in housing.
Here are some questions I’ve asked.
- What will be the outcome of this trip?
- What are the hazards?
- How can I mitigate the hazards?
- What does _________ need to be happy in this situation?
- How can I be supportive to Ming?
- How can I exit this situation doing the least amount of harm?
- What do I need to be doing in community?
- In this situation, how can I contribute to the longterm good for all?
- What’s best for just me?
- What does my mom want for me in this situation?
- What does Mother God want for me in this situation?
- How can I honor ________’s spirit?
Usually the questions are not yes or no questions. They’re more a “how” or a “what” question, often about something I can do. I was taught that pendulums answer yes and no questions, while tarot is for storytelling answers.
But I don’t have a pendulum and don’t feel affinity for them. When I feel upset and worried about something, I might ask the cards a yes or no question, and that’s fine.
When I’m curious about a second opinion, I’ll ask my good friend for insight about card meanings, and how certain cards in combination might create new meanings. I also look up card meanings online. The particular deck I use most by far didn’t come with a book.
how I read tarot
Often I’ll start a reading with a side question to warm up, not the main question that instigated the reading.
“What do I most need?” is a question I often ask. Sometimes I’ll ask, “What do I most need for myself?”
Since I’ve spent most of my life emotionally patterned on my mom’s life, which was about meeting the emotional needs of others before herself, I’m always learning how to bring it back to me. It takes a lot of practice.
Another general question I like to ask is, “What am I forgetting that I need to remember?” That question feels resonant, is open, and can lead to more questions. I learned it from my zinester friend Nyxia Grey.
relationships
When I have a relationship that’s confusing me, I’ll ask, “What’s really going on between me and ________?” to get some insight.
I might ask questions about intention, like, “What does _________ want with me?” There’s an ethical issue with asking about other’s intentions. My boundary is that I can ask about intentions because I have a kind heart and will use the info for the good of all.
Totally different would be trying to learn someone’s intentions to act underhanded, like exploit them or non-consent influence them. My motivation in asking questions is always to create more love and mutual pleasure, or else get out of the way.
happy
The fourth question in my above list of examples is similarly about someone’s inner workings. Our friend was going on a trip with Ming to do a huge chore, so I asked Spirit, “What does _________ need to be happy in this situation?” so Ming and I could help our friend have a good time.
Spirit said The Devil, which was no surprise, as this friend enjoys alcohol, weed, gambling, and other potentially addictive bodily pleasures. So I advised Ming to pay for the alcohol and make sure our friend was ok driving. Sure enough, when Ming and our friend stayed in Corning, they went to a casino, and our friend gambled. In the hotel room, our friend made martinis.
Do you think there’s any moral issue with asking how to keep someone happy? In this case, our friend’s happiness did benefit us. We wanted him to have a good time on the trip and not harm the relationship with stress. But being happy is definitely part of this friend’s project. It’s not like he doesn’t want that.
“What is my destiny with ________?” is another question I might ask.
It’s tricky because a destiny might not be fulfilled. Many people have intentions without skill to follow through with the intentions. So I’ve learned to take it all with a grain of salt, and I like to re-ask as circumstances change.
example
There was a new person in my life who I really liked and was curious about. I asked Spirit their intentions in my life, and I pulled the 10 of pentacles.
Wow, my favorite. Ten of pentacles is a stable, happy family card, in my opinion. Pentacles are about home, money, the material world, and tens are about the ultimate.
That was very heartening: this person I might get close to wants exactly what I want. Yay! I was happy.
But during our first one-on-one socializing, I learned this person has an avoidant attachment style. They told me so when I asked. Oh crap. I’m partly secure but partly anxious, which is a classic bad combination. Anxious people chase avoidant people, and it’s a mess. That’s not a dynamic I want in my life anymore.
I need consistency, integrity, and responsibility in order to feel safe, and feeling safe is paramount. Someone with an avoidant attachment style is not going to be consistent for me, especially not at the beginning.
At first I was confused by that ten of pentacles. But then I remembered that just because someone has an intention, doesn’t mean they’re capable of following through with it. I’ve loved people who wanted intimacy more than anything, but they weren’t willing to heal their fear enough to actually do intimacy. It remained a dream.
pop out
Sometimes a card will pop out of the deck when I’m shuffling. It used to happen to me a lot– now it’s rare. Any card that pops out of the deck, I think Spirit really wanted me to think about. I don’t know the question that card is answering, but I do know it’s important.
A recent reading, the two of swords popped out of the deck. I considered that Spirit was telling me I need to make a decision.
Long ago a friend did a reading for me, and the 10 of swords popped out of the deck for her. Yes, it was a wretched time in my life where I was being hurt in a relationship and needed to get out. I had been at the end of that bad relationship cycle for a long time, and my departure was way overdue.
I don’t actually shuffle because a pinched nerve means my right hand doesn’t grasp right and can’t do certain actions. My method for shuffling is to put the cards in a puddle on my desk and shift them around in a gradual, calm way until I feel they’re well mixed, and I’m ready.
conclusion
What do you think about how I read tarot? Sometimes I pull three cards about one question, like, “What else can I do to support Ming?” so then I can see a variety and choose what makes the most sense for me, or see if there’s a trend in the three cards that helps me understand in a new way.
I hope you feel happily situated in the world. I hope you feel many options for change and information gathering, including intuitive, witchy ways.
