pneumonia

content warning: pneumonia topic, hospital mention, death possibility

“You know how you’re having a baby, and it takes a while.  So you’re looking for all different positions to try,” I said to Ming.

Ming has pneumonia.  Hopefully you have never had it, reader.  If you have, you might know how it’s really hard to sleep.  The coughing fits are terrible, and there’s a sad feeling.  Zero stars–would not pneumonia again.

“It’s been a while since I had a baby– not since last lifetime.  Probably like 100 years, depending how long we stay in the Middle Place,” I continued.

positions

We were talking about positions because Ming was having so much trouble sleeping.  Standing is the best.  Lying down doesn’t work well– instant coughing fit.  And sitting is not so great either.

I woke up from one of Ming’s coughing fits with the idea that a kneeling chair might help.  Ming could be sitting, but mostly on his knees, with his tummy poking forward.  Then his guts wouldn’t push up into his lungs.

We decided he should try kneeling, facing the futon couch, and putting his face onto the seat.  Sort of a child’s pose supported.

The coughing fits stopped, and I was amazed.  He fell asleep.  I had a hard time falling back asleep because I was in suspense, seeing how long Ming would be cough-free.  I was crying with joy and relief.

ER

It can be hard to convince someone to go to ER.  Eventually, Ming decided himself.  We drove to the hospital.  I sat crying in the car, watching gorgeous swallows fly in the parking lot, mate, and preen on a disabled parking sign.

Ming got intaked, x-rayed, and his lungs listened to.  I was right about him having pneumonia.   A bacteria probably was opportunistic and got a foothold in Ming’s left lung due to the virus cough we both had which was nasty and wheezy.

What a hard trip.  Such a mix of pain, pleasure, and learning.

I’ve never been close to someone who had pneumonia, so this is new.  I’ve known Ming for 13 years, and I’ve never seen him this sick.  He’s never been this sick.

“Is this the beginning of the end?” I asked Ming.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Are you an elder now?” I asked.

“No,” he said.

Probably I am not supposed to ask stuff like that, but please forgive me as I worry aloud.  I have the autism, after all.

nixie on the deathie

I was crying in the parking lot because it had been a hard time.  It was a relief, to finally be at the ER–a climax of our trip story.  But it was sad because he was suffering.  Sometimes it sucks to be right.

Also I was crying because my mom is dead, and she would have helped me.  She would have been there for me so good.

But here I am, mom-free, ready to get help from others.  Thank you to everyone who’s showed up for us these past few years.  So many kind people, I’m crying again.