the rewedding

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  I want to show you pictures from the rewedding.  Sharing a buncha pics is a little daunting, but I don’t want to put it off and then never post them.  I’d rather share right away.

There were a few photographers–thank you to each.  I set up a little altar with a candle, pictures, rose quartz, a shell rock, Palo Santo, carnelian, and we had orange roses–my favorite.  We ordered a gluten-free vegan cake that was pistachio raspberry rose flavor.  It was a hit.

The cake says “too much” because that’s the name of our song–Too Much by Sufjan Stevens.  Yes, I’ve often been called too much and treated like I’m too much.  Happy that Ming and I love one another just as we are, disabledly interdepending every day.

In the cake pic, you can see some sunflower seeds on the deep red tablecloth.  Ming’s old friend brought some viable black oil sunflower seeds for the wedding guests to throw instead of rice as a celebratory gesture / to release energy for the ritual.  It was fun to get sunflower seeds in my hair, and when we married ten year ago at the test site, they threw sunflower seeds too as a symbol of anti-nuclearism.

There was tulsi tea that another of Ming’s old friends brought for the reception.  The music was good.  Our homegirl Bag shared from her new album Isis.

I don’t like parties usually, but I love a ritual.  I feel grateful we were welcome in this backyard I love, as the pear and apple trees began to bloom.  Spring is a sacred time.

why

Ming and I wanted to get remarried because it was our ten year wedding anniversary.  We needed to do something to mark it, and we’re not the kind of people to fly to Paris.  Maybe in another ten years, if we still have airplanes and money and all that.

I’d been wanting to remarry in community.  Then I asked my friend sort of spontaneously if she would officiate.  She’s someone who I enjoy praying with and who I feel a closeness to spiritually.  That might be counter-intuitive since she’s Christian and I’m a witch.  But somehow our hearts are in a similar place.

What is a wedding but a prayer?  We asked God to bless our love, our place in community, our shared work.  By marrying, we ask for the people who love us to support our union.

We asked two friends who are chosen family to touch our backs during the rewedding ceremony.  That helped me feel strong.  I’d made a googledoc with an idea of how the ceremony could go, and the officiant was keen on it.  It went fast but then the cake and tea were nice, and a little dancing.

Also our chosen family member played a beautiful song on mandolin as part of the ceremony.  I didn’t cry like I thought I would.

vows

There was a moment for silent prayer before the vows.  We used the same vows as last time.  True we are different people in many ways.  But those vows are still what I promise, and Ming does too.

1. I’ll always be your friend.
2. I’ll always love you.
3. I’ll stay with you through hard times.
4. I’ll hold you as my dearest incarnation of God.

Last time we married, I was the bride.  This time I wore my kilt and had just cut all my hair off.  What a powerful queer rite of passage.  I’ll write about it soon.

This time, “You may now kiss the bride” was funnier since….who was the bride?  Of course we don’t need permission to kiss, we who have kissed thousands upon thousands of times.  But it’s sweet to have some words of tradition on our side.

And the young lovers who consider marrying, maybe we are good models to them.  Yes, someone did tell us they like to see how gently Ming and I treat each other.  Someone did say we’re a good example of a healthy relationship.  I hope so.

Thank you for looking at the photos.

Here’s our group shot, but three people had not yet arrived.  What beautiful people, right?

It was also Ming’s birthday, so the rewedding cake transformed into a birthday cake.

His glee is hella cute, right?  I was happy to talk with loved ones.

Thank you to the people who came and poured their energy into a good time.  And thank you to the people who sent rewedding prayers from afar.  We appreciate you.