intense dream

Hey, reader.  How are you doing?  I had an intense dream this morning about an alien and a mystery solved.  Not a bad dream, but it woke me up with severe emotion.

backstory

I would like to tell you my intense dream, but it needs some backstory.  In real, non-dream life, about six or eight years ago, Ming and I were at the Goddess temple, walking in the desert behind the guesthouse trailer.

We saw a man jogging toward us.  He was tall and pale white.  I wondered if he was a Tall White, like the alien.  It was bizarre he was out there.  He didn’t look like a hippie passing through or random Bureau of Land Management car camper.  Who was he?

I asked the resident priestess, and she had no idea what I was talking about.

intense dream

Ok, back to the intense dream.  So in the dream, me and Ming were in the desert behind the goddess temple guesthouse, and a tall white guy came walking by.  He was slightly older and dressed in clothes that I might describe as what you might wear to a sex party or biker bash?  Black leather more than usual.  He reminded me of the Tall White of real life.

Then it was the next day, and the same man came by again, walking the same way, wearing other sex party / biker clothes.  But this time, he was singing loudly.

Suddenly I understood that he was the Tall White from before, and he kept traveling this line daily in order to understand the edges of his space.  It was a way to explore boundaries and feel strong in himself and his life.  This pass, he was singing in order to emphasize his personal power.

“The mystery is solved,” I proclaimed.  I felt a huge emotion of resolution, so strong that I woke up in bed.  Both of my legs were covered in goosebumps.

It was a strange joy.  I finally knew that the jogger from years ago was an alien.

liminal

Recently I was talking on the phone with my homegirl Bag.  In regular life– this part is not a dream.  I was at the smoker’s area at the new community where Ming and I live, just because there’s a picnic table and that spot gets sun, when the sun’s out.

I was at the perimeter of the property, and I noticed hundreds of blackberry plants growing up through the fresh landscaping.  There were boring bushes and pale yellowish mulch; the hundreds of blackberry plants were growing up through the yellowish mulch like it was nothing.

I had to laugh at how people think they can kill blackberries, but blackberries win.  It reminded me of fate or destiny, or the plan that God may or may not have for all of us.  The hubris of landscapers being paid to do a job.  Will someone come find them months later when the blackberries have reclaimed their territory?

bed

I love perimeters, edges, the liminal, parking lots, wastelands, hinterlands, boundaries.  At our former home, I walked the property’s perimeter as part of a blessing / protection ritual.  I remember that day: kissing my favorite apple tree, my crying exhaustion on the south porch afterward.

Today I’m exhausted also.  Drinking water, in physical pain, counting my blessings.

This morning my friend asked how I was doing, and I told her, “I’ve been everywhere, lately.”  I’d been to grief, despair, anger, overwhelm, frustration.  I complained to her about physical pain as well as emotional struggle.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“It’s ok–it’s what I’m here for,” I said.

I’m here to be an animal and have human, animal, earth-based experiences.  I’m here to feel it all.