Dangerous Compassions

how to help ghosts


Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  Ming and I are mostly moved.  I’ve been thinking about ghosts because I felt three ghosts at our old place.  I have some tips on how to help ghosts.  Ghosts could use some help moving on, in my experience.

three ghosts

Yes, three ghosts at our old place, that I knew of.  The library ghost seemed pretty chill.  Not sure that one is even still around.

The cat ghost in the north living room might have moved on also.  Maybe when two living cats started to occupy the space, the ghost cat left.  The ghost cat was just a confusion in the corner of my eye sometimes, with zero interference to my life.

The only ghost that was a problem for me was the ghost in the shower of our bathroom.  That ghost seemed really unhappy.  I had to use that bathroom many times a day, so I tired to live in denial about that ghost.  Ming felt it too.

My fear was so bad that it helped to have a sheer shower curtain.  Often when I entered that bathroom, I had a strong feeling that someone was already there.  I would go through a conversation with myself in my head like: Someone’s here.  No, this is a bathroom–no one is here but me.  Hmm, could someone be in the shower?  No, no one is in the shower.

So the sheerness of the shower curtain helped reassure me.

Getting that was hard to negotiate because I didn’t want to explain to our housemates about the ghost and maybe cause more house drama or increased fear in our housemates.  How do we talk about ghost things in ways that don’t freak each other out?


When I did a ritual at that house, it included a part asking any energy to leave that didn’t need to be there.  Not a harsh eviction–just a gentle invitation out the windows.

I used the sound vibrations of my voice to nudge the energy.  As I sang–usually a Mother song, but anything sacred–I visualized all the rooms of our house.  I saw what was stale and ready to move on.  That stale energy, I encouraged to depart.

Shining a light is also nice to visualize–a candle glow in all the corners of every room.  It was challenging because I hadn’t been in all the rooms.  But I am an imaginative person.

The whole thing was gentle, and I did it often enough that it never felt like a huge deal.  I think it’s a good practice to keep up, for the health of everyone.

how to help ghosts

Is there anything you do, like that?  Energetic cleaning can coincide with literal, physical cleaning.  Of course, many people have a spring cleaning, and there’s the cleaning when you’re thinking of you own death and how not to leave too big a mess for loved ones.

There’s the cleaning after a loved one dies like getting rid of their clothes.  That can keep energy in motion even while we’re doing a logistical task.

What’s your mythology about ghosts?  Do you have your own philosophies, when you consider how to help ghosts?

Old energy can lie around for sure.  Whether we want to call it ghost or energy or memory, doesn’t matter too much to me.  A few people there are mild hoarders, and clutter is the norm.  So of course ghosts or just stale energy is going to be an issue.


I want to trust the vast majority of stale energy is neutral and not be too worried about it.  In every day life it’s layered–I can ignore all those feelings I get about energy or places.  Or I can feel it when I don’t have a choice because my stress is high.

Hopefully I feel it when I have more resources and something shifted.  Maybe a factor in the house changed, and suddenly something feels in the foreground that had been in the background.

As Ming and I get ready to be completely gone from that previous community, I can feel things shift there.  It’s exciting that as we leave– and take our integrity, responsibility, and vibes with us– our absence leaves room for others to step up.  There’s room for new values and truths to be told.

Hopefully our departure is a great opportunity for new life to breathe into the place.  I hope the people who continue to live there enjoy a rich transition.  A community needs to be changing and alive.


Ming and I were very good for that place, and it’s just as good that we move on.  A year and a season is great–I’m so grateful we had a soft landing place.  I learned a lot, made a few friends, and I’m happy to get going before I harm myself, trying to contort myself into doing something long-term that was only good for short term.

Short term is no failure–a year and a season is a serious chunk of time.  I feel honored that I got to share that beautiful kitchen with such creative, amazing people.  It’s an honor to have a friend, but it’s really an honor to live with someone.

  • joke about the waffles someone is cooking
  • hug someone as they cry in the early morning worried about a best friend
  • put pretty wildflowers on the table to brighten the life of housemates doing work there
  • dance together in the backyard in light rain
  • sing Mountain Goats songs with people half my age, grateful my pain is their pain too

Pain never goes out of style!  There are so many ways to love.   I’m glad Ming and I are clearing out, and hope we don’t leave any ghosts.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

2 replies on “how to help ghosts”

Dearheart, what a wonderful, wonderful posting. Thank you. I was thinking about it last night as I was busy not sleeping. We had a ghost where we lived in Maine, but I was the only one who ever heard it. Sometimes it manifested as someone sitting at an old piano just clinking out notes. Sometimes I would hear its footsteps walking down the upstairs hallway. It was the sound of shoes on wood, but we had carpeted it. I wondered if it was about house-memory. It was never frightening to me; more about being aware that we were part of a long lineage of people who had lived there. In our new, double-wide in Datil, I miss that sense. Then I remember that we are the first to be there. We are the ancestors. So leave good vibrations; loving energy. Hide notes in strange places as little blessings to the next generations there.

absolutely–yes. there are no ghosts here yet, in our new place. but I think of who might be buried long long back, and all the insects and wildlife like little squirrels who might have died over the years. new places are full of possibility. thank you for telling me abt the Maine ghost. yes, I want to keep a long timeline in mind. it’s an honor to be a pre-ancestor!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *