Dangerous Compassions

how to mosh

Hey, reader!  Please note: This post “how to mosh” is written by someone who has never moshed.  

how to mosh

“Hey, honey,” I said to Ming.  “I want to tell you this fantasy I’m having.  I wanna get a vest–one of those vests you wear in the lake, not to drown.  What do you call those things?”

Ming was doing something else and wandered to me, a bit spaced out.

“A life vest?  A life jacket!” I said.  “And I would wear a helmet.  And I would get some goggles.  Yes, to protect my eyes.  Well, maybe I wouldn’t need the helmet.  But the life vest would be good because they’re thickly padded.  I wouldn’t get elbowed in the breast.”

“What are you doing all this for?” Ming asked.

“This is how to mosh!” I said.  “Then I could be safe in the mosh pit.”

“Oh!” Ming said.  “Yes, you need the helmet.”

“Well, I think my head is pretty hard,” I said, feeling my head.  “I think the odds are low that my head would get elbowed.  But my head is the most important.”

how to mosh

“To avoid all that…why don’t you just avoid the most pit?” Ming asked.

I laughed.

“Why do you want to do this?” Ming asked.

“I never did it before!” I said.  “It’s an accepted way to share touch with strangers.  It looks fun!”

“Ok,” Ming said.

I thought of how to get a life vest and goggles.  I already have a bike helmet.  But would this protection give me an unfair advantage?  Maybe padding is too far out against the norms.

dog park

“Oh hey, you know how there’s part of a dog park for the little dogs?” I asked Ming.  It was half an hour later, as Ming drove me to acupuncture.

“Well, what if there were two mosh pits, one for the disabled people?” I continued.

I imagined the folx with canes, in wheelchairs, blind perhaps, and overly-bendy-jointed and chronic pained like me, bouncing off one another more gently, in the disabled mosh pit.

“Yeah!’ Ming said.

“Oh my god yes!”  I said.  “We should do that!”

I imagined the two mosh pits.  Little kids, pregnant people, and elders could come into the disabled mosh pit too.


One way or another, I can’t have my breasts bothered in a mosh pit.  I never wore a binder, but that might help.

Also, I would prefer not to get a black eye, fall, break a hip, or tear my ACL  Or my meniscus.

Do you mosh, reader?  What dangers do you spurn, and which do you embrace?  How weird are you willing to look?

I’ve been anxious with insomnia, but I could feel the acupuncture moving stuck chi as I cried in the orange recliner.  Thank you for witnessing me and my wild desires.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

3 replies on “how to mosh”

its funny i was just thinking about this today! my uncle took me to my first moshpit and made sure that people didnt mosh me too hard. a mosh guardian could be another way to mosh safely!

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