Hello, reader. How are you doing? Are you fat like me? How do you feel about your body? My body is fat and beautiful. I made a video that I thought you might enjoy. Please share with anyone.
I wrote and performed this pleasure testimony for a sermon my friends Nina and Ariel created for the Unitarian Universalist church of Las Vegas. The sermon was on Pleasure Activism, and it was given July 16, 2023.
It’s important to me to love my fat body unconditionally. My fat is not a visitor who will leave–my fat is me. It’s not an unwelcome guest to glare at and hope it disappears. My fat is part of who I am. In that way, it’s sacred. It’s done nothing wrong. I’ve done nothing wrong, by being fat.
I mention that because fat people are considered lesser than in all sorts of ways: Lazy, stupid, unhealthy, uncaring, unattractive, desperate, selfish. gluttonous, irresponsible. Fat people endure medical harm, job discrimination, unsolicited advice, and harmful misunderstandings.
As a culture and as individual people, we can do better loving one another. We don’t need to dismiss anyone. My body is fat and beautiful, and there’s no contradiction there. My worth isn’t contingent on thinness or on anything.
Once I heard that many poor people don’t see themselves as poor–they see themselves as millionaires who are down on their luck. Gambling, lottery, and the disempowerment of poverty contribute toward that fiction. “Of course I’m powerful, so of course I’m rich. This is just a temporary setback.”
Being realistic would be better for organizing. The poor are less likely to rise up and make a better system, if they’re not even real about being poor.
Likewise, I’ve heard the trope that inside every fat person is a thin person struggling to emerge. The fat person is a mistake or fake version, and the thin person in what’s hidden but real. Many people delay doing what they really want, putting off trips, career changes, weddings, and other life events until they lose weight.
It’s a mean way to treat yourself, and I know all about it because I’ve been there. My culture taught me I was valuable for the way I look, serving men, and how easy I am. It’s hard work to struggle against that.
Fat people are valid. We’re valid dancing, sitting, lying on a bed, in bathing suits, naked, having sex, being ill, being disabled, being “inspiring,” riding trike, eating, baking, dating, working. Any gender, any feeling state, pregnant, dying, any age, everywhere we go.
I will paste here the text I spoke in the video. Yes, I hope you have what you need and can heal any pain you carry about fatness, body love, respect for yourself and others. I love you.
complete text of my body is fat and beautiful
I am fat and beautiful.
Mother God made me with this body,
and I love my body unconditionally
not for what it does
how it looks or who it pleases.
my fat itself is me. my fat itself is beautiful.
my large tummy, my wide butt,
thick thighs, my soft upper arms,
my ample breasts are alive.
I’m alive right now
as you are alive also right now,
and your body is worthy right now also.
self-touch is something I do all day for comfort.
I see my friend’s self-touch also.
during conversations they touch
their own neck and their own shoulders.
they rub their chin. they hold their own arms.
I touch my own fat
and I love myself.
I touch my abdomen when I’m going to sleep
with one hand
and my forehead with my other hand.
I lie on my side in the bed and say kind
things to myself like
I am so proud of you
you worked so hard today
you matter to me.
when I was a kid I was taught that my
body was bad,
but being an adult means I can make my
own my own choices and form my own values.
my body exists to love and hold other bodies.
my body exists for itself.
my body was formed inside my mom’s body,
and I live out the dreams of my ancestors.
the pleasure of touching myself heals me.
pleasure is why I’m here.
my fat gives me pleasure,
and I don’t accept shame anymore.
I work hard to lose hate.
being happy is the healthiest thing I do
for my body.
being happy is what helps me do everything I need to do:
bake cornbread for my spouse,
tell the truth in my art and my writing,
dance in the front yard, love my friends,
pick flowers for the rent strike.
being happy is a pleasure
that gives me energy to find new
pleasures and share them.
self-touch grounds me in who I am.
I am fat.
one day I will die and shed this body.
but for now I’ll feel the sunshine on my skin,
I’ll eat delicious foods,
ride trike, enjoy the smell of rosemary.
celebrate my queer sexuality,
touch other bodies, and touch my own body
because my body is mine,
and I plan four more decades to enjoy it.
I like touching animals,
leaves and stems, other people, dirt,
rocks and stones, water, my pillow,
paper, bricks, ingredients.
but what I always have with me is myself.
and I’m my own caring lover
and compassionate friend.
I am Laura Marie Cumulonimbus Nopales.
Ilikeyourstims.com is one of my websites.
self-touch is a form of stimming.
thank you for watching my video.