people do things that don’t make sense

Hey, reader.  How are you?  Did you know people do things that don’t make sense?  Responsible, good people like me and you.  Yes, it happens.

how the world works

I always believe people make sense, like that’s how the world works.  Thing leads to thing.  There’s a reliable chain of cause and effect–we can count on that.

Also I believe we have a responsibility to make sense.  Something in me believes that I make sense, so other people should too.

But no, that’s just not true.  Sometimes the spirit is willing, and the flesh is tripping balls, one way or another.  Yes, tripping balls, distracted by anything, exhausted from paid job work, care work, disability, survival.  The body is falling asleep in a conventional way, or a narcoleptic way like happens 50 times a day to Ming.

flailing

This fact that people do things that don’t make sense reminds me of a meme I saw recently.  The meme said something like, “I don’t have ulterior motives–I don’t have any motives.  I don’t know what I’m doing.”  Yes, lotsa people are mostly flailing.  Bulls in china shops cause broken ceramics.

I wish self-knowledge was the norm.  I long for a world where everyone has a safe home to relax in, with ample rest and downtime to think, pray, consider.  That way we could all have a chance at least, to behave from a place of knowing who we are and what we want.

Unfortunately we created a world where nature is more of a treat than everyday bliss.  We’re supposed to be money-productive, or else recover from work to show up the next day to be money-productive.

I’m trying to make a better world, but capitalism is so harsh and powerful.  It’s taking a minute.

illegible

My life is illegible in this system.  My life is rest, pleasure, art making, freely sharing ideas like Disabled Resilience Permaculture, community connection, a happy relationship with Ming, and happy relationships with friends and chosen family.

Yes, that’s what I do.  No kids or grandkids, making as much money as possible, pets, movies, or tv.  I like to make zines and pray–I like to dance in the yard.

Love of food is something I have in common with many people.  But I eat weird too–no dairy, gluten, mushrooms, corn, or concentrated tomato.  No meat besides fish.  Lots of veggies, tempeh, tofu, eggs, rice, quinoa, amaranth.  I love oils like olive oil, coconut oil, and all the nuts.  I cook almost everything I eat.  Ming helps too.

My days are very different from the days of most US people.  Many folks don’t know what to do with themselves without a paid job for work.  My work is not paid, but is important and fills my days.

people do things that don’t make sense

People do things that don’t make sense, and I’m trying to accept that as ok.  No one owes sense to me–not Ming, not anyone.

Do you make sense?  Do you value making sense?  Is sense related to justice?

Is chaos the opposite of sense?  Do you find chaos stimulating, stressful, necessary, helpful, horrible?

Who do you know who makes the most sense?  Would you like to be more like them?

Sense comforts me because I feel safer with some kinds of order.  And I want to be able to improve the world.  I can’t make change if there’s no cause and effect chain to nudge in a happier direction.