Dangerous Compassions

what I like best about having a girlfriend

serious fat queer looks at the camera as Asian enby is near

Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about what I like best about having a girlfriend.  I have a four item list.

what I like best about having a girlfriend

Maybe pause and take a moment to try to predict my list.  What do you think I like best?

How about you?  What’s your list?

intimacy consistency

Intimacy is sharing my soul with someone.  And consistency means this is not just episodic or random.  I love to check in daily and feel reliably held.  I thrive on consistency.

You know, some people find consistency stifling.  Well, I am a daily kind of person, and I’m a nester.  I want to be very close to my loved ones.  There’s some variety of how love feels, from person to person.

But in general, my love style is the opposite of casual.  Definitely I want to give people the space that they need.  But when I’m really close to someone, I want a lot of contact.  I find it reassuring and a pleasure.

feeling safer in the world

I’m on a quest to feel safer in the world–it’s true.  When my mom died, I felt like the bottom dropped out.  Girlfriend as a role helps me feel safer.  More stands between me and doom.

I have a variety of people in my life who care about me in all sorts of ways.  I’m very low on parents, but I’m rich in other kinds of support and love.


I like cuddle and holding hands with someone.  Ming is great, and his body is my home.  But I need some variety, more than one person to be close to.

Touch is one of the few things that relaxes and reliably grounds me.  It’s sad-funny because for many people, it’s the opposite.  Touch stresses many people out.

cute names we call each other

Freedom with language is so relaxing too.  I enjoy calling my sweetie cute names such as dear, babes, darlin’, pumpkin cat, pumpkin muffin, pumpkin tendril, blueberry muffin, sweet pie, etc.  We were by the river the other day, and I called her honey on accident.  I like when I can relax enough to call someone I love “honey” without thinking about that too much.

I like when she calls me “baby” the most.  It makes me feel special.  Later I would like to try calling her carrot cake and see if she smiles.


That’s life!  What do you like life for?  Calling someone cute names is kind of the best.  Having people who will allow me to call them cute names is heaven, if you ask me.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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