Dangerous Compassions

my gratitude for late April

Hello, reader.  How are you?  This is my gratitude for late April.  Please join me in celebrating the goodness that fills my life.


I’m so glad my eyes got better.  I had an illness which started as a cold, then a week of gastrointestinal distress, then my eyes got gunky / gummy and hurting in a bad way, for a week or more.  It was hard to see.

Took a while to recover from all of that.  It was an uphill climb back to the world of the Well.

Now when I look in the mirror and my eyes are proper, I feel elated.  And my energy level is back to regular.  Feels great to dance, cook, and do what I need to do.

It’s wonderful to have working eyes.  I had a dream I looked in the mirror, and my eyes were all messed up again.  The whites were dark red.  I was like, “Holy crap.  My eyes are bad again.  Well, they healed once.  We can do it again.”  I was happy when I woke up and realized it was just a dream.


I’m so glad I’m almost done with my disability justice and accessible design certificate.  I’ve done 16 out of 17 lectures and quizzes, and I need to do the live Q and A and do a form.  Then I will have accomplished my goal.  So grateful I found this program and am following through.

The certificate is pitched for social workers, so I’m not the intended audience, but that’s fun sometimes.  Like eavesdropping.  I’m doing the certificate as a stepping stone toward the fat, queer, disabled dance studio I want to create.  I thought some broad background on disability justice and access would be helpful.  Yes, I was right!

I’m taking notes, and I want to re-watch a few of the lectures.  There’s info I want to share with Ming.  No one topic is deeply explored, but this is a lovely taste of many aspects of disability justice.  Now I have a sense of where to go next–that’s exactly what I wanted.

I bought a book Building Access by my new design hero Aimi Hamraie, which arrived in the mail.  It’s bigger than I thought it would be–around 10 inches by 7 inches.  I’m excited to jump / walk / dance in.

building access book

New Mexico

I want to learn more about this history of New Mexico, a homeland for me.  Never before have I thought of myself as a history person.  History seemed too concerned with wars and very dry.  I’m not interested in wars.  I hope I can keep finding forms of history that I enjoy.

Learning about the history of New Mexico isn’t a rational thing.  It’s not like I will solve family problems or magically heal intergenerational trauma.  But something about New Mexico matters to me.  So I will go with that, as long as it feels right.

I’m grateful for desire.  It feels like heaven to crave something I need to learn.

Many ways to learn.  For now I have the New Mexico map on my altar, I’m reading the nuclear book, and I’m watching southwest history youtube videos.  Here’s one.

I pause and take it slow.  I summarize info and ask questions.  Maybe one day I’ll find a master’s program or certificate on the history of New Mexico.


Ming and I celebrated our nine year wedding anniversary, so 11 years together, and 12 years as friends.  I’m so grateful to have Ming as my family partner person, and to have a little family and a relationship that lasts.  We’ve worked hard to stay kind and changing, as we love.  Bunny agrees.


I’m grateful to do fat yoga as a way to nourish my breathing, care for my whole self, have social connection, and sustain a healing thread.

Doing yoga almost weekly with the same people is a beautiful way of learning.  The longevity of the relationship is healing medicine.  The phrase “deepen my practice” sounds bland, but the experience is rich.

I’ve done yoga for more than 30 years, with all different people, and I really like these people.  I wish I could also dance with them.

gratitude for late April

Thank you for sharing my gratitude for late April, reader.  What are you grateful for?  Are you getting what you need, these days?  Blessings to your body, your needs, your breathing, your whole life.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

2 replies on “my gratitude for late April”

You are a beautiful writer and art maker! I found you via instagram & a zine posting. Please keep sharing yourself and your art and your words and your adventures with us. I’m sending gentle hugs of admiration and support for whatever you choose to do! 🫶🏻🥳❤️

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