Dangerous Compassions


Hello, reader.  How are you doing?  Ming and I were talking about gender, as we often do.  Ming was telling me an aspect of enbies I don’t always think of.  He was telling me how there’s not a messed up team spirit like cis men have.

Cis men are pro-men and like they have to uphold man-ness, Ming explained.  Yes, I’ve seen “Save the males!”  Cis men pretend they are under attack and in danger, any time their absolute supremacy is questioned.  Even gentle assertions of reality are seen like someone’s going at them with a rusty machete.

men island

Enbies are not stuck in a pro-enby mentality.  Cis men have Men Island and need to defend their island.  Enbies aren’t stuck on enby island.

“We can swim around wherever we want!” I told Ming.

It’s not an us vs them.  The enbies comprehend how gender is a scam, so it’s more generous and playful.  We’re free.


I was caring about a new friend who likes my zines.  I suddenly decided it might help them to hear about the personal healing and cultural healing I’m going for, making zines and zine culture.  Maybe my new friend would enjoy this video.

I played the video after not watching it for a really long time.  Ming was here on the bed with me, waking up.  Some of the ideas I expressed made me laugh–such huge concepts, so important to me, stated in a simple, clear way.

  • I’m a valid person.
  • I’m on earth to tell my truth.
  • Helping each other with skilled mutual emotional strengthening is one of the most important things in the world.
  • We can step off the hamster wheel of denial.
  • Telling the truth is a way to heal culture.

I felt proud of myself, for making this video over the summer while Ming and I were homeless.  I made it at a library study room in the Bay Area while we were passing through.  The attempt before this attempt, I’d tried outdoors, but garbage trucks and people kept coming through, interrupting me with noise.

The video you see is take five or so.  I was so happy to do it well, and almost 20 minutes exactly.

Ming is proud of me too.  The video has more than 300 views, and I’m glad many people saw it as part of the conference, but afterward too.

define success in a way that includes you

Enbies can’t go on the regular path.  Well, you can try.  But probably that path isn’t going to work for you.  So I’m glad we can help each other find better paths.

Please define success in a way that includes you.  I’m successful because I do my best, love myself unconditionally, pay attention, feel my feelings, make the art I need to make, and love the people around me as skillfully as I can.

Also I make beautiful altars, I’m good with language, and I model that all bodies are valid bodies.  It’s vulnerable, and strangers stare sometimes when I dance in the yard.  But it’s worth it, to do my life’s work.

This is how my altar looks right now.  Pretty, isn’t it?


By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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