Hello, how are you doing? I was thinking of myself as a cycle breaker, while I was doing some writing the other day. My writing was an internal family memo that I might turn into something later. One of countless random googledocs that could become a zine or course or megapost.
Or something I could let stay buried and never look at again. Writer problems!
Cycle breaker sounds a bit edgy, like I professionally smash bicycles. Hmm, sounds like a weird job, Laura-Marie! Yeah, what if I was a pro bike tester. If I was the 300 pound person who makes sure the bikes work up to that weight.
Hmm, wow. Thanks for making up a cool job, Laura-Marie. Sounds dangerous.
But no. That is not what I’m talking about. Cycle breaker is actually:
- I did not have kids, partly to make sure I did not abuse them.
- I don’t use alcohol or other drugs to make sure I don’t get those types of addictions and hurt people with them.
- I’m not going to make a life with money at the center, pretending that money can keep me safe.
- I’m doing what I can to eschew violence.
- I enjoy studying domestic violence, learning what love is, and creating ways of doing family that are sustainable.
- More than survival of myself / my small family is important to me. I’m trying to make a better world in new ways and heal culture.
- I resist the military mega-death, resist ableism, resist misogyny, love queer and trans people extra much, care for Parent Earth, work against racism, and learn more ways to speak truth to power.
- Consent is sacred to me and central to how I do relationship.
- I recognize the importance of community and renounce the idea that being independent is superior. We all interdepend–it’s just a matter of how honest we are about that.
- Ancestral healing is some freaky magic I wouldn’t believe except it happened to me.
Yes, I did that ancestral healing a while back. I’d like to do more, but I don’t know if anyone will help facilitate the journey. Ming falls asleep. Feels intimate, and I wouldn’t do it with just anyone.
Are you a cycle breaker? How do you do that work?
Perceiving and comprehending the harms in a family is a first step. Then deciding we can do better and figuring out how to try. And trying it.
Any place on that path might require faith. Why try? I tried because I knew other choices are possible. I felt like I had to try.
Then I could see my effort was paying off, but I still needed faith to continue. And the support of my ancestors, Parent Earth, Ming, and many friends who believe in me. Thank you to all of you.