Dangerous Compassions

cycle breaker

cycle breaker

Hello, how are you doing?  I was thinking of myself as a cycle breaker, while I was doing some writing the other day.  My writing was an internal family memo that I might turn into something later.  One of countless random googledocs that could become a zine or course or megapost.

Or something I could let stay buried and never look at again.  Writer problems!

Cycle breaker sounds a bit edgy, like I professionally smash bicycles.  Hmm, sounds like a weird job, Laura-Marie!  Yeah, what if I was a pro bike tester.  If I was the 300 pound person who makes sure the bikes work up to that weight.

Hmm, wow.  Thanks for making up a cool job, Laura-Marie.  Sounds dangerous.


But no.  That is not what I’m talking about.  Cycle breaker is actually:

  • I did not have kids, partly to make sure I did not abuse them.
  • I don’t use alcohol or other drugs to make sure I don’t get those types of addictions and hurt people with them.
  • I’m not going to make a life with money at the center, pretending that money can keep me safe.
  • I’m doing what I can to eschew violence.
  • I enjoy studying domestic violence, learning what love is, and creating ways of doing family that are sustainable.
  • More than survival of myself / my small family is important to me.  I’m trying to make a better world in new ways and heal culture.
  • I resist the military mega-death, resist ableism, resist misogyny, love queer and trans people extra much, care for Parent Earth, work against racism, and learn more ways to speak truth to power.
  • Consent is sacred to me and central to how I do relationship.
  • I recognize the importance of community and renounce the idea that being independent is superior.  We all interdepend–it’s just a matter of how honest we are about that.
  • Ancestral healing is some freaky magic I wouldn’t believe except it happened to me.

Yes, I did that ancestral healing a while back.  I’d like to do more, but I don’t know if anyone will help facilitate the journey.  Ming falls asleep.  Feels intimate, and I wouldn’t do it with just anyone.


Are you a cycle breaker?  How do you do that work?

Perceiving and comprehending the harms in a family is a first step.  Then deciding we can do better and figuring out how to try.  And trying it.

Any place on that path might require faith.  Why try?  I tried because I knew other choices are possible.  I felt like I had to try.

Then I could see my effort was paying off, but I still needed faith to continue.  And the support of my ancestors, Parent Earth, Ming, and many friends who believe in me.  Thank you to all of you.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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