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Dangerous Compassions

falling asleep

Hello, how are you doing?  I was thinking about what goes through my head when I’m falling asleep lately.  It’s changed.  For a while it was Rainbow Goddess.  Perhaps you know her.

She lives on a mountain by herself, like a fire lookout, but she wouldn’t tell anyone about the fire.  She would let it all burn.  She’s made of rainbow, has a rainbow throne, and is totally without language.  Touch is her way of communicating.  And maybe her own rainbow beauty.  Her facial expressions.

Her choice to stay on the mountain communicates something–a deep self-sufficiency.  A life on the mountain is quiet and on her terms.

The rainbow goddess helped me for a long time.  Then somehow I felt less comforted by her.  I would imagine her touching my back in a circle, like my mom did.  Or I would imagine resting on her lap, as she sat on her rainbow throne.  I would cry there.  PS, she is a giant.

train rainbow

Here is a picture I took yesterday of a rainbow over a train.

falling asleep

These deep autistic pleasures are something to live for.  Thank you for accepting my gift.

New Mexico

These days when I’m falling asleep, I think about this scenario.  It’s kinda weird–bear with me, esteemed computer pal.

So I’m in New Mexico where my peeps come from.  I’m in Carrizozo where the adobe houses are and were.  I have a shovel.  For some reason I’m a dude.  Hmm, I will have to think about that one–why I’m a dude.

I dig a hole, and I spread a tarp in the hole.  Then a blanket.  Then I lie down in the hole.

Ah, feels so nice.  I can rest in Mother Earth.  It’s a way to be in the earth while still alive.  Also, the tarp somewhat protects me from bugs and lil creatures going on me.

This is a cozy place to rest.  I hope this fantasy will help me fall asleep.

questions for discussion

Is sleep easy for you?

How do you fall asleep?

Would you like to try out my tarp hole New Mexico fantasy?

If you visit the Rainbow Goddess, will you tell her I said hi?

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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