Dangerous Compassions



Hello, how are you doing?  Disabled and cute, like me?  Maybe fat and happy, like me.  Or tired and brilliant, like Ming.  Good hearted, like both of us.  I want to tell you about timing for events, when it comes to disabled people.


I hate when events are not kept to schedule.  Feels sketch and disorganized.  The container is too flimsy for intense emotional work.  And if we’re not doing something meaningful, why attend?

Poor time management for events is disrespectful.  Everyone’s time matters, and it’s fair that we should be able to budget our energy for events, and not get jerked round.

Especially people who are disabled, including chronic pain, low energy, and having different needs around sitting, standing, sensory overwhelm, and being around people.  Disabled people with small amounts of spoons can’t just fuck around indefinitely.  We need events to have reliable start and end times, and we need to know what we’re showing up for.

Free events and paid events both.  My life matters.  Responsibility with time is an important part of access.


Furthermore, some people have nap times and bedtimes.  Some people need breaks for sitting, bathroom, quiet, less stimulation, making noise and movement, snacks, drinks, prayer.

These people you might not see around much because we are less welcome in society.  Society is not set up for us at all.  Babies and little kids, people with autism, people with certain disabilities, elders.  There is so little patience for people with differences–what a narrow range is welcome.  But there’s a huge amount of us people who need different things from the norm.

Exclusion becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when people with power believe that those who need something different are very few.  They don’t make sure we have access, so we don’t show up.  That becomes evidence that there are few of us, as we suffer in isolation at home.

thank you

Thank you for hearing my heartfelt request that if you run events, you keep to schedule.  It’s respect.  Some people are relying on that schedule, and we matter.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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