survival

“When you realize you’re going to live, it’s time to brush your teeth,” I told Ming.  We were talking about survival, reminiscing about when I was in the hospital.  “Hmm, it’s been a few days.  I might need these later.”

The nurse brings you a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a little basin.  Then someone helps you sit up, and somehow, you do it.  Dribbling a toothpaste foam on your chin and hospital gown is ok.

Well, ICU has better stuff, like wipies.  The hospital I was in, they transferred me to regular before they discharged me.  Regular did not have wipies.

help

We were talking about it because Ming was half-asleep and said he needed to shave and brush his teeth.

“Do you want help?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said.

We happened to have the electric shaver inside the bedroom, so he brought it to me, and I went at his chin.  “Here, go like this with your mouth,” I said.

Ming put his lips inside his teeth, and I laughed.  He had his eyes closed the whole time, but he knew what I was asking for.

“There you go!  Smooth as a baby’s bottom!” I said.  “Oh wait–a baby’s bottom is covered in shit.”

survival

Survival is preferred.  I’m glad I lived, that time I didn’t know I had a stomach ulcer and almost died.  How inconvenient!

I had to survive to keep speaking the truth to you for a little longer.  But it helped me learn more deeply that death is around the corner, and we need to do what we’re here on earth to do.  I have no time for fucking around.

more art

I’m training on how to make a radio show at the local independent station.  I feel excited to share my truth in a new way, with music and commentary and ideas that mean so much to me.

Also I volunteered to take over their instagram.  That will mean I’m doing maybe seven instagrams.  Hmm, strange behavior, Laura-Marie.  Am I a social media maven?  Never meant to be.  But it bothers me to see half-abandonedness.

Also I signed papers with a Turkish filmmaker who is making a movie with me.  That’s pretty wild.

Keep Your Soul Inside Your Body Please

I recently made this art I thought you might like, Keep Your Soul Inside your Body Please.  It’s about my mom partly and how she was so afraid I would kill myself.

But I hope you can see the joy in the duckweed, tadpoles, and Edsel.

I love failed cars.  I love failure in general.  It’s my sacred duty to show up, try, and sometimes fail.  Thank you for witnessing me.