Hello, I am suffering with sads. Housing search got me down. We are safe at the moment, house sitting for friends in the Bay Area. But I need somewhere of my own, to lay my heart down and rest a deeper rest. What do I do? You can’t rush other people’s decisions. For my health I need gratitude for late October, to help me through until we get a place.
gratitude for late October
I am so grateful for my own survival, against the odds. Thank you, Mother God, for keeping me on earth to do the work I’m here for. Thank you, beautiful body that strives for life.
I’m grateful for the interviews I’ve given recently about radical mental health, Disabled Resilience Permaculture, zines. So grateful some people are interested in these ideas, as I progress bit by bit as a sharer of important ideas. It takes a while, and I’m patient.
I’m grateful for drum sticks and becoming a percussionist, after decades of wanting to be. Dreams do come true. It has nothing to do with Disneyland and everything to do with honesty. I work hard to uncover layers of repression, denial, and distraction to get to my true desires. I’m proud of myself for that. My mom liked that about me too.
Reminds me of my favorite Audre Lorde quote: Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge. Yes, desires too.
I’m grateful for my own laughter, when I looked up “should drum sticks be oiled” and got a bunch of cooking advice for baking birds. Glad I could laugh and laugh. I don’t eat birds, oiled or otherwise.
Drum sticks seem like cutting boards, to me. Yes, maybe I’m overthinking it.
housing
I’m grateful it might be soon, a couple weeks till we have a place. Our first choice housing co-op might decide soon. God I hope so.
And I’m grateful there are many options, if they say no. But I love them and hope they say yes.
Please say a prayer for our housing. I’m ready to settle somewhere safe with Ming, feel my feelings about what we’re going through now, and make it part of me in a happy way.
