Dangerous Compassions



Hello, Ming and I are in California.  We visited my aunt on her back porch.  It was lovely.  We hugged, drank tea, and enjoyed conversation.  I was in a more energetic mood than usual, which was nice.  Maybe I said slightly different things.

I asked if my aunt would cut our hair.  She said yes, and I was very happy.  My hair had not been cut in more than three years because my mom was my haircutter.  So it was emotional to have my hair cut, but I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would.  It felt very right.  I’d been thinking about it for a long time.

Ming and I bought hair cutting scissors last year, and I cut Ming’s hair.  We buried his hair in the garden in Las Vegas.  Ming was supposed to cut my hair also, but somehow it never happened.

Ming’s haircut

Here is Ming getting his hair cut.  We asked for four inches off.  My aunt did great.  She has scissors, combs, clippers, those hair grasping things to pin up a portion of your hair, this colorful smock.


Ming fell asleep partway through the haircut.  Narcolepsy is a lot of work.  My aunt felt him fall asleep and asked, “Are you ok?”  He remained standing.


my haircut

It was intense to feel the haircutting sensations on my body that only my mom did for almost my whole life.  But it felt deeply right.

Haircuts used to be mixed for me, emotionally.  My mom would often take off more hair than we had discussed.  Also I would show up for a visit, and she would say, “You need a haircut!” in a way that I would resist.

This haircut my aunt gave to me was fully wanted, and I was just happy to be free of that bottom six inches of thin frizz.  Also it felt good that she would care for us in that way.


Afterward, I felt a burden had been lifted.  I didn’t realize till afterward that I had been embarrassed of my hair.  I’d been keeping it in a bun always because I thought it looked like crap.  I didn’t know I’d felt embarrassed until I didn’t feel that way anymore.

My hair looks pretty now.  It’s curling to shoulder length.  My homeland has more humidity than the desert, so it curls more.


Thank you to my sweet aunt for the visit, haircuts, delicious tea, family love, bright yellow Meyer lemon, and the three grapefruits Ming picked from your tree.  Feels great to receive your care!

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

One reply on “aunt”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *