Dangerous Compassions

wonderful birthday

Wow, what a wonderful birthday.  The night before, the farmers at the farm that we’re living at blessed me with sacred gifts.

wonderful birthday

Tiger’s eye beans, beautiful flowers, tea of tulsi and chamomile, and tucked inside, some eggs from the young hens that barely know what they’re doing.


I set up an altar to pray with Ming.  It felt soul nourishing, and I finished planning the birthday ritual, which we did on my actual birthday with friends.  More about that later.  Here’s the altar.



I slept well.  But the morning of my wonderful birthday was tough.  I woke up in more pain than usual.

Then my tummy revolted.  It’s usually ok in the mornings, but it was acting up right away!  That unusual behavior alarmed me, so I was scared, in pain, and grief-suffering about birthday-missing my mom.

That derailment led to poor choices.  For example, I probably should have eaten something small and easy to digest, right away.  But Ming was still sleeping, the dishes hadn’t been washed, and I wasn’t thinking so great.

When Ming got up, he wasn’t thinking so great either.  It took him a bit to completely join the world of the awake.  He stumbled around.  Poor dear.

thank you, body

I ate a little breakfast, and my stomach was still freaking out.  I patted my chest, asked Ming to pat my back, helped myself burp, and moved about, which helps.  The gas gets stuck in my stomach, so I need to do these things to let it out.  After I burp, I say, “Thank you, body.  You are doing such a good job.”

The discomfort came and went, sometimes alarming.  I cried, missing my mom, and with frustration that I’m trying so hard to be kind to my stomach, and it doesn’t matter.  It revolts anyway.  Then I got a birthday poem gift email from my best friend that was so caring and kind, I cried more.

Ming is the one who helped me eat, saw me cry, and cared for me.  From his perspective, it was looking like a pretty bad birthday so far.


Then we went for a walk.  It was lovely.  There was a light sprinkly rain.  Yes, quickly the illnessy personal holiday turned around into a wonderful birthday.

Some walk highlights:

  • seeing copious blackberries
  • visiting the goats in not the usual place and feeding them wild cherry leaves
  • picking lemon balm
  • seeing shelf fungus on stumps

wonderful birthday

  • meeting a burro who I fed a blackberry embedded in a dried wild carrot flower, in case it was a finger biter
  • taking pictures such as the blackberry arch pic

wonderful birthday

We went for a second walk later, after lunch.  I thought it might help my tummy, and it did.

We walked by where the apples are dumped by the neighbors and a usnea tendril is four feet long.  By the hawthorn berries.  We looked at a beautiful gate.  I grasped its horizontal poles and imagined squatting to push, birthing a baby right there.

I am not pregnant and not planning to birth a baby.  But birth was on my mind.  My mom, how she birthed me, and those kinds of generative thoughts.


Then we drove to a special bakery where Ming got bread he likes and blackberry refrigerator jam that he loves.  Strangely, they had plain pretzels.  Usually they only make those on Saturdays.  Wow, what a wonderful birthday gift.  I munched about one sixth of a huge pretzel.  My tummy was ok with that.

Then we went to our friends’ house and had a beautiful birthday ritual on their back porch.  It was about connecting with my ancestors, gathering strength for the new year, and shedding what I no longer need.  Here’s a pic of the altar.

wonderful birthday

We sang grounding songs, prayed heart prayers, and gave sweet blessings.  It was fun and filled with gratitude.  Here’s an afterward group selfie.


By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

3 replies on “wonderful birthday”

Hi! Happy belated Birthday- I’ve been trying to leave a commomnt for three or four days-Opps-forget to post- Well I’m glad it was good! Write to me if you can- Do you have an address? Good luck! Cathleen

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