Dangerous Compassions

what I said to Beatrice this morning

what i said to Beatrice

Hello, how are you doing?  I sang part of Jagged Little Pill to all three goats this morning.  I think they liked it and liked my arm motions.  It was fun to make up some new lyrics about being a goat.  The new lyrics made me giggle.  Then this is what I said to Beatrice this morning as Ming milked.

what I said to Beatrice this morning

You are such a good goatie.  Ming is doing a good job milking you today.  You’re doing great.

You have your heart on your side, and the heart on your forehead.  You’re a love goat!  How did you get so sweet?  Probably because so many people love you.

You are famous also.  On youtube, more than 300 people have liked the video of you eating your food.  People love to see your cute eating!

We are so lucky we met such a good goatie as you.  We lucked out.  It’s kind of like getting a really great yoga teacher for your first yoga teacher.  I’ve loved goats before, but never a goat I knew so well as you.

zoo story

When I was a young person, I lived across from the zoo.  It was during grad school.  And there were goats at the zoo.  I would go across the street to visit the goats, and I liked to sing to them also.

But I never milked them, and they didn’t really want to be petted.  I think they were anxious from little kids trying to pet them all the time.


Here, have some more of your favorite dish.  It’s sweet COB, and you love it.  Then Ming can finish milking you as you get stompy.

We respect you very much.  Yes, we respect your body, your mind, your goat soul.  We love your fur, your eyes with their horizontal pupils, your sounds, your milk.

Thank you for everything.  It’s a joy to know you.  You are a very good dear.  Very good pumpkin goat.

alternate lyrics

I recommend getting your hay trampled on, to anyone.
I recommend walking around naked in your living room pen.
Swallow it down–what a jagged little pill.
Feel it swim! Swimmin’ in your stomachs.
Wait until the dust settles.

You live, you learn.
You bleat, you learn.
You cry, you poop, you’re milked–you learn!
You think– you learn.
You graze, you learn.

I recommend being a sweet lil goatie to anyone.
I recommend stomping around on your little hooves.
Feels great!

Swallow it down! What delicious sweet COB food.
Feel it swim–swimming’ in your four stomachs.
Wait until the dust settles in the straw!

You eat—you learn.
You greet–you learn.
You cry, you prance, you hear me sing this song.
You see–you learn.
You nibble Ming’s clothes—you learn!


Reader, I was mistaken about the zoo.  I was not actually in grad school, that time in Tustin, across from the Santa Ana zoo.  It was the year I was teaching at UC Irvine after grad school.

That was a really hard year.  Those goats and some capuchin moneys were a joy of that time, helping me survive.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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