Dangerous Compassions

poke bowl

“Want some?” Ming asked.  He was eating a poke bowl.

I made a weird facial expression.  “No thank you,” I said.  “For me, that’s worse than starvation food.  I would eat lichen before I ate that.”

poke bowl

He found this answer amusing.  So I asked if I could take his picture.  He obliged kindly, kneeling by the bed, eating poke bowl with chopsticks in our strange airbnb in Bakersfield, California.

The reddish wet chunks looked like tomato, but I knew they were previously living fish.

Sorry I insulted your food, dear.  He thinks my insults are funny.  He is so kind that way, his sense of humor erring on the side that makes me not a bad person.

acai bowl

He bought me a food at the same place–an acai bowl.  He said there were people sleeping on the sidewalk, and he accidentally bothered one of them.

I asked for the paleo bowl, even thought I hate paleo diet.  Those are just the foods that make sense to me.  There was the dark purple acai ice material, coconut in larger pieces than shreads, almond butter, bananas, and flax seed.  I was surprised the flax seeds were whole–I am not sure I can digest them.  But we’ll see!  Nice to be optimistic!

“Thank you for not making fun of my acai bowl,” I said to Ming.

Yes, that’s a great example of how not everyone needs the same thing.  We are not all the same, which is great.  He likes me making fun of him, a loving teasing attention.

If he makes fun of me, I feel unsafe and weepy and am likely to seethe with anger.  Golden rule, my ass.

sleep attack

There’s a slow drain in our shower, so I told the landlord–I thought that was the right thing to do.  What if it got worse or overflowed the shower pan?

He came over right away to check it out.  Yes, indeed, the drain is slow.  He told me he would work on it from the outside, and let me know if the worker was coming.

Then Ming took off his clothes and went to bed.  He slept much longer than I expected.  I cuddled him and tired to talk to him, but he was out like a light.

Then I was writing on my laptop.  Oops, I missed the message, and the landlord was at our bedroom door.

I leapt up and tried to wake up Ming  He was sleeping, and I couldn’t wake him up.

“The worker is here!” I said.  Ming still could not wake up, so I put the blanket over his naked body.

“I’m sorry, my spouse is asleep,” I told the landlord and worker.  They looked embarrassed and came in.


Poor dear.  He continued to sleep for a long time.  I couldn’t really relax because I was afraid he would half-wake up suddenly and kick the covers off himself, exposing his nude self to the innocent worker and landlord.

Ming actually was making weird motions with his legs as he slept sometimes, like a sleeping dog, running in his dream.  I told him, when he finally did wake up.

“Were you having a dream about running?” I asked.

“Uaah nuu luuu mmm nuhnuh mmmmm,” he said.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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