Dangerous Compassions

blueberry smoothies

blueberry smoothies

Oh hey, if you know me, you know I am a fiend for blueberry smoothies.  They are so good–they are automatically good!  They are beautiful too!  The brilliant purple is a giveaway.  You know what I’m up to–I’m drinking a delicious smoothie.

Here is my standard blueberry smoothies recipe.

  • about two inches of frozen blueberries
  • all or most of a ripe banana
  • about 2 tbsp of hemp seeds
  • oatmilk to cover

I might add other fruits, like part of an apple or pear.  Or I might add chia seeds at the beginning, or a tablespoon or so of tahini at the end.  I whir it in the blender, and I pour it into a tall, wide mouthed mason jar.

Yum–success!  It’s a drink and food at the same time.  I don’t even need to chew it.  What could be better, especially on a hot day.  It cools me off, and it’s most of a meal without needing to cook.  Ming has to wash the blender, but he says he doesn’t mind.

hard night

I had a hard night–I was up way too late, couldn’t sleep, hungry, but nothing seemed a desirable food.  My stress level was maxed from moving prep.  My body was on auto-freak out.  I didn’t need to worry about anything with my mind–my body was just panicking on its own, low grade insomnia panic.

This is one of the hardest things about being a human.  It’s why my family is made of addicts.  Anxiety makes me want to run from my feelings sometimes, or abandon myself.

I lay there talking to myself in my head, saying, “I love you,” and “You’re safe,” to myself.  I had a few visions, as I tried to sleep.


The first vision was this pool of water, with a bunch of pollen going on it.  Maybe from cattails–the pollen was coating the surface of the water.  It felt beautiful and significant.

Then I had a vision of some round pools made of rock, filled with clear, still water.  They were so serene and complete in themselves.  I loved them.

I was grateful for these peaceful visions, but I was still hungry and losing my mind.  Ming helped me brainstorm snack ideas.  Blueberry smoothie was the only idea that sounded good to me.

So we made it–I drank that midnight smoothie and slept a bit, got up to pee, slept a bit, peed, and slept some solid hours.  That was helpful.


Then the next day, I decided to make a smoothie without blueberries.  I didn’t want to over-blueberry.  Wow–very edgy, Laura-Marie.  It made sense to me not to overdo the blueberries, because of the midnight treat.  I was compensating.

So I used frozen banana and rainier cherries from the freezer, hemp seed, oatmilk, tahini.  I added two small nectarines that were ripe in the fridge.

Holy crap, it was a weird looking smoothie, non-purple like that.  It was all pale and beige.  I felt a mild, “What’s the point?” feeling.

I long for the bright antioxidants.  Deep purple is the fruit drama I need in my life!


I tried it, and it was good, with easy nutrition.  But the experience helped me realize–I am truly in love with blueberry smoothies.  Without the blueberries, I am listless and forlorn.  Please help me eat blueberries.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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